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Well Ive been racking my brain about being married. Dont get me wrong I have and never will cheat on my wife but there are alot of people who just arent wired that way. I saw a discovery channel show about sex and mating that said that permiscuity is a natuaral uccorance in almost ALL Mammals there is actually only very few that are a one partner kind of animal and most were birds that did this. Not very many at that. Actually the study said that by having sex with multiple partners it increased the chance of prolonging the species life on earth. It also said that it boosts the Immune system. Ok im seeing alot of plus and no minus except that it might hurt big birds feelings when Mrs Big is taken it from Mr. BIG big bird in the bush. So humans are just an advancecd species but still the same sexual traits as animals. Well that sucks if your a god fearing christian and your trying to have a so called traditional marriage, you know one man one woman. I am extremly suspicius of my wife Lookin for Mr. BIG big bird but my insecurity is mostly in vain. Can you love someone and still have an affair. I think most people would say no. This "I think" can differ from person to person. Lets say for instance my wife has found some strange but never plans to leave me, so she would be cheating out of sexual desire and monotany in life. If I was a monkey I probably wouldnt care i would throw shit at her and then we would go about life like normal. As her husband I would throw the bills at her and go on with my life with out her and her cats, after i wiped my ass with the bills. In her mind though if never caught she would continue to love me and act like nothing has created a disturbance in the force. I think most people wouldnt mind a roll in the hay with a beautiful stranger but try not to becuase of the whole "LOVE" thing. I believe some can still love there partner and still have sex with others. Look at Porn stars, some are married happily to men and woman. They kiss in the morning and one heads the office for work while the other heads to the Lord of the G-String or coX-files. They both finish what they do and head home to meet and have a normal marriage. Now you have the other side where she goes to work and bumps into an old friend exchanges phone #'s harmlessly and the partner finds it and explodes of rage and jeolisy. Total differant sides of the spectrum. Im kind of wondering if you found your husband or wife cheatin would you throw shit and run & accept it and move on (maybe pee in there shampoo) but still stay?
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Posted by risingmoonfart on 2007-10-19 10:33:19 | Rating: | Views: 223
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Okay, when I was married, yes, he cheated on my at the beginning, it swayed my trust alot - did I move on -sadly not - in hindsight, wish I had there and then, would have saved me heartache and my Daughter would still be alive.
But, when I took my wedding vows, I took them seriously, so would and did at the time, try and sort it out
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Posted by kentlass
on 2007-10-19 10:39:57
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One... throwing poo covered bills is hilarious. Two.. if she cheats.. thats breaking your trust. When you got married the thought occured that you two should only be with each other. Hell fuck that. Eye for an Eye Hunny. Get out there ( if she is cheating) Find you a smoking ass broad and fuck her brains out.. Take pictures and THROW THOSE AT YOUR CHEATING WIFE!!!... thats only if she is cheating ^_^
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Posted by Iced_Nympho
on 2007-10-19 10:41:00
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I think it breaks down much simpler than basic biology. Yes, most "mammals" are not monogamous, but then again, they only copulate to breed, not out of affectionate bonding. Those birds choose partners based on who can build the biggest, best nest...and that gets human females labeled a "gold digger." *wink*
Anyway, my point in the midst of this rambling is that from my PERSONAL point of view, sex isn't sex. Sex is an outpouring of my emotions for a person. I've never seen the reason to "hook up" just for the sexual release. It just doesn't mean anything to me. However, there are probably just as many people who would take the stand that sex IS just an act. So who is right?
When you commit to a person, whether it is a marriage or a long-standing monogamous relationship, both of you should know each other well enough to determine if you are willing to "share." I just don't see how a person can sit idly by while their life partner is intimate with someone else...."succesful" porn star marriages aside. Seems like those relationships are based on hedonistic tendancies rather than mutual affection.
But then again...I'm old and stuck in my rut. *LOL*
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Posted by devldggal
on 2007-10-19 10:42:00
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sidenote
as for being faithful, yes, its possible - is natural to look at others, but in saying that, there is a huge difference in looking and 'touching'. If you are with someone you truly love and care about, there should be no reason to even consider being unfaithful [imho]
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Posted by kentlass
on 2007-10-19 10:42:00
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what to do when you suspect it though. Sex has always been pretty good for both of us I just think that shes bored. I mean when i met her we were having sex in the kitchen while her current husband was sleeping in the bedroom. Shes wild man.
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Posted by risingmoonfart
on 2007-10-19 10:47:07
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I ment X Husband im the current one.
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Posted by risingmoonfart
on 2007-10-19 10:47:56
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Oh...hold on a second. Now I understand more of why you are asking. If I understand your comment, you were sleeping with her while SHE was still married to someone else and now y'all are married?
If that is the case, I can understand your fear. If someone cheats to be with you, there is always that underlying fear that they will cheat to be with someone else.
BUT...boredom is NOT an excuse for unfaithfulness. Every relationship has ups and downs, and that isn't a reason to sanction an affair or one night stand. You fix the issue...not run away.
Oops....am I lecturing? Sorry!
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Posted by devldggal
on 2007-10-19 11:18:25
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i actually have a really shitty memory and have kept a log of what she has done to make me insecure. i dont really know what someone would think of it but if you guys want to read it let me know and ill post it as a new blog.
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Posted by risingmoonfart
on 2007-10-19 12:40:13
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oh and your not lecturing all of your comments have been theraputic. Also excus the spelling i just type and dont really care how shit is spelled.
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Posted by risingmoonfart
on 2007-10-19 12:41:52
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Wow, been there done that. I kissed another guy while married (granted it's not having sex and then going home to my husband). My husband too kissed another woman. I think if we really love someone we have to learn to forgive, goodness knows we probably won't forget.
If you think your wife is cheating - you'll have to dig deep and ask if it's because she cheated with you, or if its because you really think she's cheating.
Great blog by the way :)
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Posted by Whitters
on 2007-10-19 13:30:48
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Love the imagery! Okay...if you love someone you respect them...if you respect them then you would never cheat on them as that is an act of pure disrespect. If there weren't problems in the marriage no one would be cheating so that's where I would look first. On another point...men and most women view sex differently. Men can have sex for sex sake but most women have sex as an emotional manifestation of their love. Some men as well...depends on personality, morals and ethics. Bottom line if you truly love someone you don't cheat. Period. No if you love them but have fallen out of love with them the opportunity exhists but there again I say there are problems in the marriage. People who are happy in thier marriage don't think about cheating. ;)
One thing about mating habits of animals...they don't have the reasoning part of the brain to control themselves as evolved humans do unless it is altered by drugs, alcohol or some other malfunction. Thus we do not behave as animals do. Some men use that excuse about animals are not monogamous but it's just a way to justify their actions. As one of my Psychology professors said...it's crap! haha Sometimes we are afraid our partner is cheating because we are 1) insecure and/or 2) we secretly wish we could.
Interesting blog and great comments.:)
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Posted by Izzesmiles
on 2007-10-19 13:51:26
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Wait...I just saw that comment that you were intimate with her while she was still married and her husband was in the other room. Man....that should have told you she's not trustworthy nor can she commit...she was cheating on him with you and you.... Ok....I'm walking away from this one ....sigh...
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Posted by Izzesmiles
on 2007-10-19 13:54:54
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ok i know i shouldnt have married this one but we have known each other since graded school. Things started roughly and for her favor the X husband was a drug dealing piece of shit which is now on trial for 2 murder counts both female prostitutes. I dont blame her for cheating on him with me. I just have trust issues with woman i guess. Ive always been the stright and narrow kind of guy and havent been with many people like her. I guess i care becuase my world revolves around her and i don think i could leave her even if she was abusive.
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Posted by risingmoonfart
on 2007-10-19 14:01:33
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First of all, let me say, risingmoonfart--awesome name:P You should have a site or spot where you can go and as the page opens, you hear a classy bit of flatulence:P
Anyway, this topic of yours...I have contemplated this myself from a single perspective. I have seen way too many single parents and failed marriages in this world already. As well as people obsessed with sex. In the big game of Love and Sex, its Love 411 Sex 911. The more I look at animals like squirrels and geese and the like...and the more I see of those charity commercials for kids dying in Africa...and the more I get guys AND girls asking me how much action I am getting...the more I realize and get SO irate over how this world works. If it's not the money that's the root of all evil, it's the sex.
YES, we are animals/mammals. YES, we are classified civilized animals. YES, we mate like many other species. But, since we have taken charge of the planet--claimed top of the food chain(ha!)--we have some room to make a difference/choice.
If we choose the path of other animals, just think of life span and STDs. Don't even start talking birth control, condoms or snipping it in the nub. Nature is nature. And, diseases are out there. If we go with the animals, I suspect life span would be much shorter...but I am sure it would be a heck of a romp in a loincloth:P
I think a big concern is moderation/population control. If we keep multiplying without some form of control system--I am afraid to think sci-fi movies--we may just end up in a sci-fi movie where government starts deciding who lives and who dies once costs get too exorbent and too many people end up out on the streets.
And, just when you think I got waaay off course. In terms of "cheating on a relationship" and/or "negating a traditional marriage", I dream of having 5 wives at once--one from every olympic ring:P I find it hard to settle on one type of woman when there is such a lovely variety out there. I favor brunettes over blondes, but there are some really nice blondes, too. It seems impossible to tell anyone you marry "you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen." In short, "cheating" bad; mutual agreement between hetero/bi man and bi/hetero woman to have another partner without committing to traditional marriage--grey area okay:P That's the best I can say without running on longer. I just hope for a brighter future where dreams can come true, and true everlasting love is not an endangered species. There are alot of cookies to pick from, but how many cookies can we have before we get sick?
Think about it.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2007-10-20 19:44:33
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Don't shoot! I just saw that last comment, 'moonfart. Sounds like a hot pot of water there. I know the feeling when two people come together like atoms or cells or a sperm and an egg...and suddenly, you're temporarily inseperable. Two seconds into it, you've got cold feet...doubts. Yes, no, shouldn't have...really shouldn't have...but...what if...what if...but...but... AGH! Hot water! Or as they say at work "a hot mess." And then there's the teeter totter of the straight and narrow/good person and the person you don't really wanna meet down a dark alley--but damn there's something attractive about that bad person.
And, when you are not secure in yourself, you tend to cling to people like a life preserver at sea. Life becomes Titanic. Search your heart to know what is right. And, don't be afraid to let Rose go if she's not the one. There ARE other fish in the sea. I just don't want to see anyone get too hurt.
Pain of separation is sometimes just the linger of lust. That "jonesing" feeling that emerges in all of us...the same feeling you get when you see someone attractive and go "Mm!" I refer to the current movie "Into the Wild" where the main character has to make a choice when he finds a young girl who "has snakes in her shorts" and he hasn't been with anyone for--at least--a long time. He can take the easy path and go bed with her--sure, he gets a lil action out of it, an emotional release...or he can take the hard path and go without, because to get emotionally tied to her at that time would only make his journey more difficult--and there is no telling when he would be back. But, if you must make a break, either do it gently so the pain is not so great...or do it like a bandaid and let nature take its course. There's a saying going around "God only gives us what we can handle."(which reminds me...)
Think about it.
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Posted by brainstormer
on 2007-10-20 20:01:25
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this was a great piece, some of your lines are rather entertaining. if i ever caught my partner cheating on me, i would feel inadequet and disowned by a strong promise. not only would i fly into a fit of rage, but i as a person would find some way to blame it on myself, leading me to start taking anti depressents and seeing a shrink. while if i was dating a porn star i would have known that going into the relationship and would have to better prepare myself for it. (which would never happen because i will never have enough trust to let my husband screw someone else for a living) however if my husband decided to be a porn star after being married for a while, i would be caught in a sense of 'this is not what i signed up for' after all i wouldnt want my children flipping through the paperview and find a movie called 'kinky mick kinky' featuring their father. what i'm trying to say is that most people do not have the trust or self confidence to allow their partner to have sex with others in a swing relationship or an open relationship
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Posted by myveryownsoapopera
on 2007-10-21 19:42:04
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