This is a very hard time in your life - being a young teen is not easy, and I see by what you say, that you have a whole in your life when you lost your mom. Believe me, I lost my mom when she was quite old and it still hurts.

You have to realise that you are important in the scheme of theings and have a lot to offer. There are good groups out there that can help you with this emptiness. Find a local non-denominational church and join their youth group and and they can help you find your God given talents.

as a teen (which i was not long ago) we feel compelled to stick to the world thats treated us so badly.. as you grow older you learn its not just you it treats everyone that way.. i cant imagine the pain of losing two people so close to you and im sorry that happened.

as you have realised your goin down a path that could get alot worse - very quickly ! it all depends on what you want to do - for your mum, for yourself and for your future?? i know your pretty young but if you can thurt this much, you can also re build.. start doing things you used to love doin before the lose of your loved ones, write stuff down/blog and MOST IMPORTANTLY seperate yourself from the people influencing you to rebel. it may seem cool now but in five years when your siting in a bathroom somewhere with a needle in your arm none of those "so called friends" will be ther to help - change because that is what is best for you not for anyone else..

do it because you want to - find something you love doing, a place you love to go, a peaceful space... and keep writing it helps!!!

Peace"

Andrew, I'm so sorry for your loss!! I know you are and have been going through so much these last few years of your life. I lost my brother in 2005 in a car accident two weeks before his 21st birthday. So even though it's not the same situation, I know what it feels like to loose someone so close! I can tell you that smoking, drinking, and fighting will only make things worse for yourself. You have a couple choices, you can continue doing what you are doing going down a self-destuctive path (a road leading to no where), or you can make the decision to create something wonderful for your life (like I'm sure your mom would have wanted for you). Life is very short and you shouldn't let it go to waste! To start off, you should stop drinking and smoking and definitely stop fighting! I know this is all easier said than done.. but you have your whole life ahead of you and a lot to look forward to (depending on the choices you make)... When my brother died, my 2 younger brothers took it very hard and reacted in the same ways as you are.. it is still very difficult for us, but we look at what our brother would have wanted for us. You can try to see it that way too... what would your mom and sister want for you? If you could hear them, what would they be saying to you about everything?? Just remember Andrew, that your mom and sister are always with you!!

Andrew, that is very sad indeed. i have not lost a parent or sibling, but i did lose 3 good childhood friends. so I know what you are going through. 3 of my friends all died within 1 year, all at the age 19.

there is nothing that can make you feel better, but if you need someone to talk to, let me know.

Andrew, this is sad and most trying times for you. I believe you can overcome it - you will have to concentrate on the love you have for your mom and sis and also your other family members who are with you. BeLLaMaMaT said it very rightly that you have to think what they'd want you to do? Divert your anger and focus it on what you want your future to be, in order to honour these people whom you love so much. Not easy, but if you believe you can, you will. Shift your focus! God Bless you!

andrew i understand the pain the hurt
the lost and the anger and you can blame so many because of this
at your age i could of image.....

i will say its christmas and there is someone you can get comfort from and thats your faith (jesus) He stands at the door and knock to your life and wants you to talk to him
he feels sad also because of your family not being there.

read my blogs if you can they can give you comfort my friend
im praying for you and that you will get through speacally the holidays


God bless

well I am sorry about your mom and sister but I am just saying that you need to get over it and move on.....
SORRY
~Bethany~