The reason why is pretty simple: I have a small penis. I guess when many people read this they won’t go far beyond this point, because it seems stupid to them. But not to me. I’m crying inside, and all I can do is nothing.

When I look in the mirror I feel worthless. I’m filled with an overwhelming amount of inadequacy. Do you know what it’s like to have a problem that you feel has no solution? To have to live with the problem every day? You can’t talk about it with anyone. All you can do is think about it, and when you do, it makes you sick to your stomach. I have never made a woman orgasm. I cannot describe how pathetic that makes me feel. I am not a man. Sex is one of the most natural and most popular things in the world and it is something I must be excluded from. I have had sex many times and many different ways, but it doesn’t make a difference. Size matters. Anyone that says otherwise is lying.

I actually have no problem attracting women. I’m a fairly good looking guy and to anyone that sees me I’m just another normal individual. But I forfeit most of the opportunities I get to have sex, because I can’t bear adding another one to the count. Another woman that I couldn’t satisfy.

My parents got divorced when I was a baby. I’m ashamed of my father. He is a disgrace- he’s an alcoholic and last I heard he was still living with his mother. My younger brother has severe depression. I often wonder if the reason the two of them ended up the way they did is because they share the same problem I do, and feel the same way. I’ve thought about killing myself, but I’m too much of a coward. And I don’t want to hurt the people that care about me. I know other people who read this might think I am a fool, a selfish person, because I am only thinking of myself. I should be grateful for my health. There are millions of people that suffer every day from real problems, real tragedies. But I can’t think about them. All I want is to be normal.

I’ve thought about surgery, but from what I understand, it doesn’t help that much. Or as much as I would want it to. But I would still try it tomorrow if I could. I don’t have the money to. Either way it doesn’t matter. I will have this problem for the rest of my life.

I imagine other men with the same problem don’t see it as one; I don’t know how they find happiness. I suppose their partner doesn’t mind faking it all the time because they love each other. Or maybe they just don’t care that much about sex. But I cannot be one of those people. I want to make love to a woman and give her something that she wants again and again.

I guess I’m writing this because I’m about to feel a tremendous amount of pain. I’ve met someone that I like very much. She means the world to me. She does a hundred things to make me smile by merely being herself. We spend a lot of time together. She has feelings for me also and has tried to have sex with me several times. Thus far I have been successful in preventing that from happening. I’ve told her that I just want to be friends for now. But that won’t work for much longer. I know that she doesn’t want to be just friends. Neither do I. But I am 100% sure that if I have sex with her I will not make her orgasm. I will feel like a failure, a disappointment. Our relationship will diminish and I will feel such sadness. I don’t want to see what tomorrow brings. I am afraid.