since i was a kid, i am always the chubby kind.. red puffy cheeks and cloud-like bangs.. my classmates always tease me for being chubby.. i always get humiliated,  embarassed and pushed around.. even my teachers make fun of me especially that bald guy.. he was my teacher in theatre arts.. he never failed in making me feel so unappreciated.. he talks to the other teachers about me.. he said, i was dumb and very bad in english.. he said, i was never good in acting and singing.. he said i was not good for the lead role (ibong adarna; magical singing bird).

then i went to high school.. i've thought of dropping out of school then i met new friends.. who taught me to act properly around people.. they taught me how to fight those assholes who tried to put me down.. my friends are not exactly good influence but at least they taught me how to defend my self.. i'm no push over anymore..

i'm friends with a gay and two lesbians.. they're not the kind of people my mom wants me to stick with.. my mom said they're abnormal but to me, being with them is a lot better being at home and suffering from insults and shouts.. even my relatives insult me.. they said i was the least appealing in the family.. and although, i pretended that i did'nt hear them, i know deep inside that it hurts me..

there came a point that i cried all day.. depression came and stress got into me.. so i started smoking and drinking.. and you dont wanna know the rest.. at the age of 13, i did all of those things that normal teenager won't do.. i got aggresive and you know the rest..

then i decided to be a lesbian.. i never thought how easy life can be as a boy.. i acted so much like a boy to the point that people thought i was one.. so i got a girlfriend to make it final.. we were on for a few months unti i realized that i felt nothing for her.. that i was just pushing my self to have a relationship with a girl to prove that i am a man but i failed.. i still know that i'm a woman..

so when i went to college, i changed everything about me.. i started over.. now, i live normally and love my friends who care for me a lot.. and as for my realtives, they stopped insulting me because the last time they did, i answered back for the first time in my life and felt great.. i feel so free since then..

now, i'm still chubby but i gained respect for myself, for other people and for gay people.. they're still my friends as of this moment and they still continue to support me no matter what i become..

lesson learned: never let other people put you down and step on your dreams..