i feel like if i write about myself i might be able to figure out who i am a little better. i havent met who i was supposed to become yet. i feel like i am walking in a circle, and who i will be is waiting just around the corner.
music. i live for music. i love all the inspiration that the lyrics hold. if i did not own an ipod, and itunes, i dont think i could be where i am right now. music has gotten me through everything. when i played sports back in high school, i had a huge wall in my room just full of quotes. i was a swimmer in high school. started swimming year round when i was five. the one thing my mother helped me with. i swim here at nyu, but thats probably as far as i will go. when i was younger, i swam for white waters, which held practices at Princteon University. man is that pool beautiful. but back on topic, when i was about to race, i played pump up songs, mostly Lose Yourself by Eminem. i love that song, and it got me through a ton of times. it also helped me accomplish pool records at my high school.
swimming. swimming was the other thing that saved me from time and time again. everytime i was upset, i swam, and when i got out of the water after practice, i was happy again. swimming cleared my mind, and the only thing i thought about was my love for the sport. i had a great career in it. i was offered scholarships to colleges, but turned them down because my dream was to go to nyu. i did get a scholarship to nyu later though. i hold some records still at my old high school for some o my events, which i am very happy about. i can still remember when i was about 6 the only thing i wanted to do was go to the olympics for swimming. now i think, thats almost impossible. of course i will try, but im not sure that is going to happen. im just happy i got to do what i love all through my years of school.
personality. im funny. im a risk taker. i worry. i laugh a lot. i am always smiling. i love to party. i love to have fun. i follow my heart. i do what i want to. i get hurt almost everyday. i love life. i can make people laugh. i have a tendency to forget about myself and help everyone else before i sit down and think of myself. even if i am the most upset i have ever been, i help my friends get through their hard times, and fake a smile through it all. the one good thing about faking a smile, is for a while i actually believe i am happy, until i am faced with whatever made me upset, again. none of my friends have ever seen me cry. no one knows i have ever cried. in high school i was made fun of for not knowing about my family, but i never let it go to my head. i always had guys around me, but the truth was: i wasnt ready to date any of them. i did anyway though. but i never let any of them break my heart. now, as i walk in nyc i get hit on alot. i usually laugh at it. i have a lot of confidence. i dont know if i am really ready to settle down, because im scared of giving away my heart, but i definatly dont want to be alone. to think about that though, i dont get much alone time. i have practice, school, my internship, my friends. i come home from work, and my roommate is there. but when i do have alone time, its scary. its so quiet. sometimes the most silent sounds are the loudest screams.