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| Being cheated on is the hardest thing to take in a
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Have I been cheated on? Being on a 5 year relationship isn't easy.
Both people in a relationship that long experience changes...which aren't bad
as long as it's good for both of you. Being in a lot of long term relationships doesn't
make you new to the art of cheating. What exactly is it? Well that question is kinda
dumb...even a 5 year old can answer that. But up to what extent can you classify
a situation as "cheating"?
Working in an office, one of the most common places cheating happens, it is hard
resisting temptations from left to right. Often times you find yourself talking to an
officemate making some flirty remarks...such as "that's a nice smelling cologne you
have on", or the most common "you look good today, you wanna go out for lunch?".
Oftentimes these remarks might even land you in a sexual harassment suit. But you
sometimes ask yourself "was I flirting back there with her?". That is where the question begins. Up to what extent can we consider certain things as "cheating".
5 years isn't easy, me being a faithful other half to my girlfriend have my ups and downs too. Being a cheater myself when I was a teenager, I can't seem to do it anymore, as I have promised myself and to think that maybe I am too old for this game. Playing in a band doesn't make it easier either...play up there onstage and some women can't keep their hands off you...how life can be so unfair sometimes!
A long term relationship often has some itsy bitsy breakups. You sometimes get
pissed off and the next thing you know is that you are screaming on the phone telling you girlfriend that it's over. After a couple of beers, something kicks you in the pants that tells you "come on dude...5 years just to end up like this?" Then you hurry and pick up your phone and call her back, telling her you're sorry and it will not happen again. Week after that, same thing happens.
The longest period that we had a breakup was 2 weeks. No phone calls whatsoever, only the usual "myspace I'm single again" profile (C'mon dude, that's the easiest way to piss her off right?) Then I finally got to my senses that I want her back. Sent her gifts, cards etc. through mail just to tell her that I want her back in my life. It actually worked. After 2 weeks here we are again, the same relationship that we started 5 years ago. Sweet huh? Not really...
Finally gave her a ring...not actually an engagement ring but a 3 stone. She was just swept off her feet, actually cried and gave me a hug, and she told me that it was the last thing on her mind I would give her for our 5th year anniversary as a couple. Wow, I feel like I have made a really wise investment on that.
Couple of days ago, she called me up. Asking if I really loved her that's why I gave her that. I said I would never have spent that much money if it was a joke, as I am broke as a bum, and away we go!...She started feeling uneasy. I asked her what the matter was and she told me the shock of my life.
"Remember when we broke up one time?", Oh my god, here it comes...as I was driving on my way home in a rainy night. And she asked me if it was ok if a girl had another boyfriend while her original relationship was on hold or over for a while. I suddenly knew what was going on, as I hit the 4th gear of my car and never cared in the world if I hit someone, and it went on and on...seemed like the longest conversation I've ever had in my life. She admitted having another boyfriend while we were broken up. She told me it was because she never expected that we will be together again. Ok, I get that point but what I don't get is that we have been together for 5 years and she managed to have somebody already after a few days we broke up? She was sobbing and telling me that she chose me instead of the other guy...don't know if that's only to make things easier for me, but hey, here we are again! She told me that she never told me because she never expected that after that break up, that I will be a better person, and she was afraid that she might lose me if ever she told. She got the ring and told me because she couldn't accept the ring if she felt that she is hiding something from me. I was devastated.
I really love her, but why in the hell would she do that? I want to take her back...seriously. But there is something that tells me not to.
Going back to the first sentence...Have I been cheated on?
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Posted by ranran on 2008-01-08 16:02:55 | Rating: | Views: 777
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Hi, I don't think you have been cheated on. I have been in a loooooong term relationship which has similarities to what you've described. But I was the female. In Hindsight I wished I didn't go back with my partner. I got advise to not see him for 6 months - just to get out of the rut of breaking up and getting back together. I don't know your background, but if you can - why not have that break and meet other women. If you and this girl do get back after 6 months then it is real - if you keep going down the path you are currently crossing then you may regret it in the long run.
Take it from me - I do regret pursuing the person. Wished I took time out before marrying him and now being left by him - cause he's bored of us!
Good Luck and keep us posted
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-01-08 16:28:51
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The 5 years weren't bad at all, only minor flaws. We saw major improvement on the 5th year, that's why I was shocked to learn from her just now.
Right now I just wanted to forget everything and be with her, end all the hardship that I'm feeling right now. The thing is, I don't want this to happen again. Being away from each other for like a couple of days and finding someone else right away is not right. You have a point with that 6 month thing. But the thing is I am not willing to let other guys be with her, I'm selfish, so is she. I guess it's human nature.
Being together for 5 years isn't a joke. I've learned to love everything that she has, Family, friends and so on. I just couldn't see myself starting over again with another girl that I hardly know.
Thanks for the advice. I'll see what I can work out with her.
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Posted by ranran
on 2008-01-08 16:40:27
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