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monday

So lately I've been trying to focus on having fun. I'm a little fussy about the fact that I have to work at learning how to have fun again, but I'm trying to be somewhat adult about it. So for date weekend, I didn't really feel like getting out of bed or anything at first, but I did it anyway. Saturday we went shopping and watched Old School (very, very funny, I loved the wedding singer scene). On Sunday we got out and did some bowling, played Scrabble, and went rock climbing. I had forgotten how athletic rock climbing was, which sounds kind of silly, but honestly, I didn't remember getting stuck or anything the last time. Haven't done that since college. I haven't been bowling since college, either, and it turns out I'm kind of good at it. Which is funny because I used to make fun of people who went bowling. The bonding thing, and the marriage stuff, that's all complicated, it's too messy for paper. Is it capable of summary?
I had a pretty good day at work today. The patients were less fussy than usual, and there were girl scout cookies, which I love ('they're called thin mint cookies, so that means they'll make me thin, right?"). Tomorrow's the full moon, and true to tradition, there's a huge list of inpatients to be dialyzed on mon, wed, frid. I'm up for it. Distract me. At the same time, I have willingness to look at my feelings in the eye.
The belief that helps me the most right now is not religious, it's more philosophical. Predestination. Whatever the path that is unfolding right now, I feel like I have somehow chosen it. Which helps a little. I don't need anyone to tell me that everything's going to be ok. In my better moments, anyway.