life is just getting so hard. i feel like im living a lie every second. everyday i get up.. straighten my beautiful curly hair, put on all this makeup, and clothes that make me look like a tramp. i do it to fit in. my mom wants me to be everything. and honers student, a cheerleader, to be in every play. i do okay but i feel like i can never please her. she has had so much dissapointment in her life.. i just dont want to be another one of her problems. i only have one true friend.. and even she doesnt know my biggest secret. i feel like that one guy will never like me again.. i do everything for him. i have made out with him just cause he wanted me too. he said he loves me.. but that he doesnt want to go out yet because he has to get his priorities straight. what does that mean? ughhh everything is just sooooo confusing.