Hello everyone...
I'm back from a long absence.
I was busy with the complications that life has thrown at me.
anyway...I'm still depressed.
Probably more than ever.
I've been cutting.
I stopped for a while than started again.
Over the few months that I've been absent, I fell in love.
With a really amazing guy name Neal.
It's weird, because you'd think that i would be happy and joyous
with my new found love but....
....I'm not.
I mean i am....but falling in love hasn't stopped my depression.
I has cured my cutting.

But i have  new poem for my devote readers...
by the way, i love you guys.
I may not know you in real life but the fact that
you take up your time to read some depressed little teenagers
poems and rants about how her life sucks, really means alot to me.
Because you guys are really the ones who help with my depression.
sooo thank you so much....but anywhoo, here's my poem.

A Strange Depression

I'm so hollow
Empty inside
Running away
but no where to hide

A strange depression
I can't explain
My eyes are blurred
I can't see through the pain

Feeling solitude
Desolate and all alone
Wishing i had somone
But I'm on my own

Anger left
Depression is hre
They think they're warm
But they're no where near.

No one understands
Hell, i don't even know
I just have to leave
I must go

I hurt
Deep down inside
You asked me f somethings wrong
I said no, but...i lied.

Everything is wrong
Mayber one da you'll see
how you could have saved my life
Had you even noticed me

Can not you see the scars
on my arm?
Did you not clue in
That it was self-harm?

A few lies
here and there
and you don't een know
about the load of despair

A well masked facade
of which I created
this feeling of emptiness
is like ebing sedated

I don't care
what happens to e
I just wantthis to be over
and for once feel something

I sit in my room
on the floor
as i cut myself
Silently screaming, "No More!"

I'm here
wondering why
I sit and cut myself
and no tears fall from my eye

How can i have no emotion?
Just sit there and bleed.
I just don't care
my knife is the only thing i need

Somedy will it all change?
No mre need for false smils
maybe I'll care
have feelings ever one in a while

But who's to say
I won't go off the dee end
quit acting happy
quit all the prted

one day maybe
I'll no longer have to pretend
maybe one day
there'll be a happy at my end

But in the meantime
here  i sit
with a hollow inside
and a wrist that's been slit

I have fought
a long and painful fight
about to give in
can't give all my might

I am broken
desolate
the question is,
is t to late?

Can i ever be saved?
hasit been to long?
will i ever recover?
or am i already gone?

so let me know what you thought about my poem....
I'm so glad to be back...

Ellie Cohutta