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Cops, murder, and parents.
It's ten o'clock. I'm sitting on my bedroom floor with my two dogs. Listening to two different conversations. My mom talking to one cop. My dad talking to the other. The room is spinning. It may be from loss of blood. I cut myself tonight. All this stress is causing me to detriorate. Causing me to mentally and physiclly break down. I have a migraine the size of a fricken watermelon. When will this torment ever end? When will all the pain and suffering go away? I'm are SO unbelievably sick of this shit. I just want to run the hell away. The only thing keeping me from moving to my grandparents' house in Florida, is the fact i have no money to get there. They ofcourse would pay from me to come down, but i can't take anymore of their money. They already paid from my dog's death/vet bills, an urn for him, and a bunch of other shit. My mom is right now talking to her friend Linda. Saying all this false shit about my dad. I seriously want to walk out there and put a fucking gun in her mouth. I want to fucking beat the living shit out of her. She's such a fucking drunk ass, stupid piece of shit. I HATE HER!! I HOPE SHE FUCKING BURNS IN HELL! And believe me, she will. Her fucking scumy ass will be eatin alive over and over again in the fucking depths of hell. She's such a douche bag. I just want to fucking kill her.

Ellie Cohutta
Posted by pure_life411 on 2007-09-11 23:46:56 | Rating: n/a | Views: 193


Comments


Posted by
Terid
on 2007-09-12 09:38:49
 
Death isnt the way the way out. I understand that things in life may be had but you got to stand tall and keep your head up. I understand how you feel my mother was never there for me. So i hated her as much you hate your mom. Nothing in my life was going right so i had to stop hating my mom and beginning loving her. Thats when thing started to falling in place for me. If you ever need to talk email me at antericadavis07@yahoo.com and i wil be there for you. One thing that the world dont have is a strong support system thats why we as people make bad decision. I want you to know that God will always be there for you. Keep your head up HIGH
 
 

Posted by

on 2007-09-12 11:27:32
 
Where ever you go,there you are.A change of scenery might do you some good but it won't change the way you keep coming back from hurting yourself.Think of how much pain you'd cause your grandparents and the others who love you if you succeed at killing yourself.Your experience is a perfectly good example of how some parents don't always do right by their child but you're an adult now.You are every bit as responsible for yourself and the things that happen to you.Seek help from a professional and lean on people who've always caught your back.It's hard.I cannot imagine but I'd like to see you get to the other side.Muster all the strength and courage you have to establish a will to live.I don't know how-but make it!I will keep you in my prayer and in my meditation.Peace and progress..
 
 

Posted by
technerd
on 2007-09-13 18:18:21
 
I know exactly how you feal. Your not alone on this. Just try what I am doing. Go numb. Just let all your fealing go, no more pain no more love. If it keeps you from killing yourself than you have only succeeded. Release it all and let the rest of them fall.
 
 

Posted by
Alice
on 2007-09-16 22:58:51
 
Ellie(what a prettty name!), I wouldn't worry about your grandparents being out the money, to get you to them! I have 8 grandchildren (soon to be 9) and there is NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that I wouldn't do for them!!! I'll just bet that your grandparents feel the same way!....especially, if you tell them that you need to be with them.

I am praying for you....that God would help you to overcome all of the negative stuff going on in your life, and help you to find real peace AND joy! He can, you know, for NOTHING is impossible with Him....won't you give Him a try? He really does care about each and every one of us....did you know that He even knows exactly how many hairs we have on our heads? Now, that's pretty awesome!

Try to keep busy doing something for someone....it will take your mind off of your problems for awhile and help you to feel good about yourself, knowing that your are helping someone else!

Try spending some time outdoors, in the sunshine....it will lift your spirits AND give your body a Vitamin D energy boost, which we all could use more of!

Hang in there honey! It WILL get better! In a few years, you will look back and be SO glad you did!!!

Hey, why don't you take a look at my links? I'm here if you need to talk! I care! :)
 
 


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