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i dont really understand this anymore.
it feels like i'm split in half.
all the time.
there's half of me that sits back and watches, like a dark figure in the corner of the room, while someone else runs my body.
i dont know anyone around me.
sometimes i'll wake up and not remember the previous week.
ive always had trouble sleeping
now i'm always tired but can never fall asleep
or when i do
its restless and i wake up in frequent intervals.
the release of suicide is so appealing
it might make my mouth water
if i think about it too hard
but all i hear is NO NO NO
all these sites
people
everything.
they all tell you to stop.
that there's always a better way
but there's not.
i know they're lying.
there is so much hate in here i can't even put the feeling into words.
its like suffocation
except longer and darker.
a black expanse of space that consumes and digests you with slow, wide jowels.
i need to hear someone tell me that i should die
i need the abuse
to know im not going crazy
because i can't do anything right
i'm worthless
and i hate myself
with a passion so deep and inpenitrable
no one could possibly understand.
stop telling me i'm skinny.
stop telling me i'm smart.
stop telling me i'm pretty.
stop telling me compliments.
stop telling me lies.
see?
that's not normal to want abuse
to repeatedly punch yourself in the face
because youre so full of suffocating blackness and hate
that you can't stand breathing
because you're a waste of air.
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Posted by pullthetrigger on 2008-04-13 14:48:30 | Rating: | Views: 150
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i feel the same all time. sometimes i dont know what to do that i seriously piss my mom intentionally so people can ask me whats wrong after we fight so i can get attention. but i havent done it in a while.
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Posted by puddleofdrama
on 2008-04-14 15:07:44
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I can relate to this blog so much. I hate it when people to tell me not to kill myself when I know im no good atanything.
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Posted by Jasmine16
on 2008-04-16 16:15:47
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I can so relate to ur poem. I feel the exact same way. Life is worthless for someone like me.
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Posted by Plakola
on 2008-04-17 11:50:48
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You're all too dark. Can't you just wait to die patiently like the rest of us? Take up smoking.
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Posted by SomethingIndecent
on 2008-04-20 09:17:27
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Smoking is killilig you slowly. Anyway I cant wait. I hate life.
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Posted by Jasmine16
on 2008-04-22 11:10:01
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