Today was fine until i got home from school, my mom was and the computer like always gand so i just did what i always do. Go to my bedroom and watch TV. With my mom its always a fight over the computer. She always gets it during the day and i get it at night. I started to talk to her about how i was feeling about her and of course she blew up and closed herself up to where she could believe that the world couldnt see her. She yelled at me, saying that for once instead of pointing out her bad side, to up her about the good things that she does. And its really hard to do that because she sits around all day playing a game on the computer until im begging on hand and knee to have it. And around this time its already 9:00 or so. I told her how i felt, what she has been begging me to do for so long, for me to open up to her and talk...and this is what i get. me sleeping on the couch (which i usually do because we sleep in the same bed) while she lays there in the soft bed thinking of all the things to say to me to make ME feel bad and make Me feel like the one whos done something wrong. I HATE THIS...i cant stand it any more its going to kill me, i need.....no HAVE to get out of this house no matter what. And im not waiting til im 18 thats TOO far away. i just want to break down and cry until i have no more water left in me  and have scientist drain all the blood from my body until im just a heaping pile of skin and then have gerbils com e and eat whats left then burn the erbils and throw them all over the most deserted place in the world that no one bothers to even talk about ( i sound like some sort of scuicide drama freak)
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
if you do....
please tell me...
please