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I don't know where to start. I don't know how or what to feel anymore. I just got the divorce papers today. I don't want to be divorced. I still feel like I am in a dream. Like any moment I am going to wake up nex to my husband. I wish that were true. I know people think I am crazy but that is what I want. I did decide to go to my 15 year reunion. Maybe it will take my mind off the divorce for a while. My kids deserve to have both their parents there for them. Right now I wish I was young again. Adults are always telling you to enjoy your childhood and not rush growing up,now I understand what they meant. I wish my husband was with us. I miss him so much. I thought I would have my drem but instead it has turned into a nightmare. I meant it when I told his girlfriend I will keep trying to get him back until we are divorced. I pray every night to God that he will bring my husband back to the kids and I. I do believe in miracles. I do believe we can change the outcome of a bad situation. I know I can survive without him but I don't want to. He makes me feel whole. He makes my life worth living. I am sorry if I am rambling but I am just writing how I feel. We have a lot of family members in heavan and I am even hoping they are watching and leading me in the right direction. My life is like a soap opera and if nothing bad is happening then I wonder what is wrong. I know. I even have had a lot of what you would call deja vu moments. I would dismiss these moments but it has happened more and more lately. I feel like I am living my life over. Like I have lived this part of my life already. You can all me crazy but I will still feel like I am reliving a part of my life that I have already lived. I just want my husband back. Other then my kids he means the world to me.
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Posted by prettywoman on 2008-05-21 23:06:52 | Rating: | Views: 62
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I am sorry you are feeling this way, and even more sorry that your husband doesn't see what a devoted and loyal wife he has.
I too am on the verge of being divorced, signed the papers about a week ago. Court date June 3rd. Which means it is all official on July 4th.
But I have given up wanting him back.
And when I did that I felt so relieved.
He could no longer hurt me with his cheating, with his lack of respect for me.
I hope in time you will be able to release it all and move on. You sound amazing with your words... you deserve someone who wants to be with you. :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-05-22 00:11:10
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