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Here's a summary of my life. I'm 31, and fairly succesful. I manage an IT department for a Fortune 100 company. I have worked hard to get to where I am and I like to enjoy life. I've been seeing someone (on and off - more on than off) for a little over 2 years. He owns his own house but has been living with me for several months. Now here is my issue: He lost his job in September and started working for himself. This has had it's up and downs but he's been making it (somewhat). He has an issue where he sleeps a lot, always has. Well on Monday I went home for lunch and he's sleeping on the couch. It kind of pissed me off because I work hard, I'm helping to support him and he's not doing anything to help himself. After a lovely argument where I missed an important meeting he got up and cleaned house. Well yesterday he had an appointment between 9 and 10. He did not leave the house until 12:30 because he was sleeping and reading the news. I tried helping him by getting him to bed last night by midnight but at 3 he was on the couch, we got into and argument and he went upstairs and fell asleep. Meanwhile I'm pissed and I can't fall asleep. It took me two hours to fall asleep while he's snoring so today, I'm exhausted. He's at home sleeping.
I'm starting to feel like he's just a mooch. Yesterday we went to do groceries for us and he couldn't even get the heavy stuff into the cart, I had to walk around him to get the pack of water or the 12 pack of coke, which he's the only one that drinks. Then to top it off, he gets a magazine that I have to pay for. I just don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if I should accept this. Maybe he's going through a hard time but it's the third one in 2 years.
I guess I feel like he doesn't care about how this may affect me or our relationship or even his future. I think of having kids with someone that can't get motiviated to get up and I don't know if I can do it. He's behind on his house and his car and still does not get up. Any suggestions? What can do? Am I in the wrong? I really do care about him and I want him to do well. He's just really hard when I try. I end up in tears and getting a comment like I'm condescending for how I remind him to do things. I really want things to work but I'm getting fed up and I really need the advice. I can't talk to my friends.
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Posted by prelude2it on 2008-01-17 09:03:27 | Rating: | Views: 97
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I suggest that you re-evaluate your relationship and really think whether you do need him. He really is taking the mick, and maybe you need to tell him straight that you cant support him, he either needs to see a doctor especially about his sleeping, get a job and pay his way, otherwise all the while you do it love or not, he is going to let you, because its an easy life.
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Posted by SallyDJ
on 2008-01-17 09:21:03
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I guess, I'm just so tired of fighting. I want him to pick himself up and not have to be hurt with the comments in the process. I know I don't need himm I guess no one needs anyone but the good times with him are really good and I want things to work. I just don't know how to approach it without setting him off.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-01-17 09:42:07
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