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| Thoughts on a relationship . . .
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I have a great guy friend who is very sad lately due to his breakup (Kris). He has been seeing this girl for over 2 years. At first he was very in love with her. It lasted about 2 months before he saw who she truly was and started getting turned off by her. When they had just started dating, he decided to plant flowers for her because she complained that her yard was bare. He worked all day and when she got home, she was mad because she had wanted petunias and she thought they were not. They turned out to be petunias.
They live about 45 minutes apart and have broken up several times. Every time they break up she comes by and begs him to take her back and she stays over. Yet, she has never been to his house at any other time. He's been sick, decorated for the holidays and she says it's too far to drive. She started pressuring for marriage after 3 months into their relationship because she's older and needs to have a child soon.
To add icing to the cake, during one of their break ups (it lasted 8 weeks) she dated someone for 6 of them. In that time the new guy slept at her house and they had what she thought was a good relationship. One day when she went to work, he never returned and he would not take her calls. She was terrified because they recently had sex and a condom broke. She called my friend and he took her back. They slept together and then she told him that she thought she had something and should go get checked for an STD. She had been scared to tell him before but decided to tell him afterwards just in case it was bad, so she would not be alone. She then went through a pregancy scare with the 6 week guy. When Kris offered to marry her and do the right thing, she said she didn't want that. She wanted the guy to pay her if she was pregnant. He drove a corvette and she was going to get him for everything he had.
Next there's Valentine's day where he brought her a dozen roses, chocolates and a saphire ring. He also said he would make her dinner. When he started to cook he noticed they were out of gas for the grill. He was going to cook them on the stove/oven but she lost it and said she wanted what she was promised a grilled steak. At 8 pm he had to go get a tank for her grill. She then said that the ring was not as blue as it should be, it's a lab created stone and she cannot wear that. She's not rich nor does she make great money but she wants to have money through a guy in life not by her own merits.
There are many other stories like this. At the end of every argument she tells him he should just marry her. She tries to push him into it even though they are not working out. Last week she broke up with him because she's dating other people and has found someone that may be better than Kris. He is hearbroken and thinking of marrying her. He's a great guy, owns his own succesful business, would do anything for his friends. I'm happy with my significant other and there is nothing there with Kris. I would like him to meet someone that he's happy with. He's asked once in the last week and she's refused. I could go on about her but I think this is enough.
Any ideas on how to help him get stronger and realize that she's not the one, that there will be someone out there that's a good person for him? I want to help him but I have a feeling, he has to help himself.
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Posted by prelude2it on 2008-01-31 10:18:36 | Rating: | Views: 193
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He should follow the other dude's lead and just not talk to her or take her calls. Ol' girl is out of her tree. Your friend DEFINITELY has self-esteem issues and uhm does he know you like him?
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Posted by bellaboobaby
on 2008-01-31 20:02:48
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Bellaboobaby - I have no interest in him. I have 2 friends that call me all of the time and he's one of them. Lately he's really down and I was looking for ways to help him.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-02-01 09:14:57
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I have been there...been the doormat and recently found the strength to leave a situation that wasn't good for me (drugs/alcohol involved)...it took me taking a good long look in the mirror for me to realize a "partner" will walk beside you, not on you! He does have some self esteem issues and maybe talking to a professional about the underlying issues will be the best route for him. Go with him if he is scared and make sure you tell him that it's nothing to be asshamed of...but ultimatly (sp?) he has to want to fix himself...nothing anyone else says will get him over that hump until he decides he is ready for better things for him.
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Posted by rocknrollprey
on 2008-02-01 14:39:50
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