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Sometimes we do things that cause us sadness. We look around at the world and see the things we want to see instead of looking at what we have in our lives with our loved ones. I feel like sometimes I sabotage myself and my own happiness and I don't know why.
I had a person, that took care of me when I was little, tell me when I was a young adult, if you are happy with where you are don't start looking for things that may make you unhappy. I use to think that was silly because if I was happy, I should be able to wander around freely and not worry about becoming unhappy. I felt sad for her because she had come from a divorce where she caught her husband cheating. I think it's what she meant by not looking for what we did not want to find.
I thought at that moment that I did not want to be like her. I wanted to have the full package with someone, not just appearances but I always kept that in the back of my mind.
Last night I went looking where I should not have and found things from his past that caused me sadness. It was stupid because I am guilty of the same thing and it's just not healthy. Now I have done damage that may be irreperable and I wish I could take it back.
Sometimes we can be our worst enemies, what brings ourselves sadness. I want to feel happiness. One of the things I wonder is if that unconditional love will happen again. If I'll ever have that and know how good it feels.
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Posted by prelude2it on 2008-02-06 09:06:29 | Rating: | Views: 54
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Unconditional love is just that.
It loves through all things.
We all hurt each other, sometimes on purpose, sometimes accidently.
I doubt what you found, was an intentional blow at you.
We all have have pasts.
I hope you find the peace, that comes in, judging him- the way you would judge yourself.
There is peace in that.
Try it.
We suddenly become very forgiving.
Peace.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-06 13:07:42
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