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| My Story - My hell begins - Part 4
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The day my father passed away, my stepmother told me that he did not have money for a proper burial and that she did not either. She said I needed to ask my god parents for it. In addition to the pain of loosing my father a few hours earlier, I asked my god parents for $7,000 what she said I needed. They gave it to me and said they would do anything for me or my father. I later learned she had a big savings account and just wanted me to be responsible for it. She was older and scared of running out of money.
We went to the funeral home and she made me pick everything out. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I remember not crying through out all this. I called my boyfriend - Roger and asked him to go with me but he couldn't because his parents did not think it was appropriate for a 19 year old to take part in my dad's final preparations. I was very hurt, I really needed someone. I told myself that I had to do this and I made all of the arrangements by myself. I even picked beautiful red and white roses for the top of the casket. My stepmother was upset that I spent over $200 on his flowers. We got into a fight at the funeral home. I did not care, this was the last thing I would be able to do anything for him. When I got home there were flowers at the door from my high school friends. I was blessed with good friends.
The next day was the funeral service and my close friends were all there, except for my boyfriend. He did not show up until much later, he had a story about how he was busy with his dad. My uncle from NJ also came for the funeral, the one that had helped to raise me. I was glad to see him until I heard what he had to say. He wanted me to go back with him.
He said I had too much freedom in my life and he was going to change that. He would sell my car and I would have a new life in NJ. I quickly realized that I needed an excuse to stay, that excuse at the beginning was to finish the school year. It was November 20th, 1992 and I was a junior in high school.
At the same time, my step mother had gone to the bank and realized that my dad had very little left. She accused me of taking his money. We argued but thankfully she did not have proof and she gave up. I told her about my uncle wanting me to leave and how I did not want to. She agreed to let me stay with her until the end of the school year or beyond if I wanted to.
When all of the services were over, life changed dramatically. For the first 16 years of my life, my dad made me fresh squeezed orange juice everyday, asked me what I wanted for breakfast and served it all for me. I was very much his baby girl. I did not realize how amazing this was. During those years; at lease once a week, I had steak even if my parents did not. He cooked for me after he retired and his food was amazing. When he passed away my step mother said she was tight on money and she would make soup once or twice a week that had to last the entire week. I know this sounds unreal but it was my reality. I later found out she had a ton of money in the bank and the mortgage on our house was less than $200 per month.
She started harrasing me about money because I started getting $600 per month after my dad passed away. $220 went to my health insurance, $80 went to my car insurance and $100 went to lunch, fuel and anything else. I had to give her $200 a month for rent, utilities and food. My boyfriend started bringing me dinner every day, which bothered her. So she decided that I had to see him and eat on the front step; he was no longer allowed in the house. One day she caught me at the neighbors, they felt bad for me when they saw me having dinner on the front porch step and invited me in. She went over and threatened to call the police for harboring a minor. Roger - my boyfriend began taking care of me in a lot of ways. He would pump my fuel every week and when he noticed I was loosing weight he made sure I ate. He even bought me clothes once
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To make things better, I was low on money and I did not want to spend the money I had put away from my dad. I knew I had to get out of her house. I hardly had money for anything because of what I had to pay her. There was no Christmas for me that year, my family from NJ came to visit and took me to a party but that was it. I sat at a chair and cried because I
could not even control what I did, I had not wanted to go and yet there I was. I hardly saw them for the rest of the trip. On Christmas morning, I was alone with my step mother. She did not let me spend it with my boyfriend's family. By January he started asking me to marry him and said it would make it all go away. He wanted to protect me from her. He had had been doing a lot of things for me by then and I was very grateful. I started thinking that maybe getting married was my way out of my hell.
I went to the library and started looking up the statues on emancipation and marriage. I discovered that I could go before a judge and request emancipation for the purpose of marriage as long as my dad's will was still in probate. There was a small loop hole in the law. Roger was happy and we decided to get married. On February 19th, I made an appointment with a judge, she asked a few questions and said I was mature enough to get married at my
age. She was shocked that I had figured out the Florida Statues on my own at 16. I was a little shocked with myself too but I knew I had to get out of Tina's house. The judge asked me to contact her in a year, she thought I was one of the few she saw who would make it.
That day we were both so nervous! We were married at the Dade County courthouse in Miami. I knew then that this was wrong but it was my only way out. I used part of the money I had and put a deposit on an apartment for us. We did not tell our parents. I wanted to stay at my stepmother's until the apartment was ready in 2 weeks and he needed to stay at his parents until then. Unfortunately the county sent the official marriage document to her house and she discovered us. She was furious and we had a huge fight! She was very let down with my actions, she thought I would stay there until I went to college. It was a hard few days where she litteraly locked me in the house with a double sided bolt so that I had to stay with her. Roger eventually came over and she let me go.
Eventually I was free and I moved out and lived at a friend's house (Lora) with him. His parents were angry with us too but after the shock blew over they asked us to move into one of their rental units instead of our $600 a month apartment. The rent was only $275. I was still in highschool and wanted to finish my junior year. His family wanted me to quit and work full time but I finished the year anyway. I used up the little money I had to pay the bills until June. We moved into the tiny apartment and I started working full time as soon as the
school year ended. I worked as a receptionist at first. I did well with work and was soon making pretty good money as a bookkeeper. He was hardly working and I would come home for something and he would be there when he said he was working. He was constantly playing video games or spending money on comic books. He was 19 but more of child then I had ever been.
Within a year I had bought a townhouse and I was tired of Roger not working and his constant lies. It turned out he had lied to his family and stolen money from them throughout the years. I grew tired of it all and started doing the things that most 17 years old do. I started going out to clubs and having a good time on my own without him. |
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Posted by prelude2it on 2008-03-29 00:30:00 | Rating: | Views: 196
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| Blog Comments
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I am sorry about your Father dear.
I had to bury mine too.
It was the most painful thing that I have ever been through.
Peace and Hugs to you.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2008-02-12 22:31:14
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I admire your strength for going ahead by yourself for doing all the arrangements. I really admire your strength.
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-03-31 03:32:54
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