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After the baby was born, he knew he needed to get a divorce and so did I. We were pretty young and when we went to the attorney he said he needed a retainer of $2,000. I went to a different attorney that had done some pro bono work and started the process.
Apart from this I was looking for a way to work for ourselves and make money. I met a woman, Jolan who was in her 30's and owned a succesful advertising company. I learned a lot from her and deciced that I would open a sign business about 30 miles from her. R was very into this idea. We started off by buying a cargo van from somene that had owned a sign company. The van gave us a start, it had all of the equipment we needed and even some of the materials. Within 2 months we rented a location and started trying to get business. We would send letters to businesses every week and at one point I even started calling businesses offering our services. Within 6 months we had enough business to stay afloat. We worked hard, some nights until 2 am and then back at it at 8 am. It was very worth it. We learned a lot about each other and our work ethic. We also made good money and were able to take a lot of weekend trips to different places around the state where we had job sites.
This bothered the crap out of his soon to be ex-Wife. When she found out about the business she started leaving messages for him and telling him that this may not be his child. She would leave messages on my voice mail about how great my soon to be ex-Husband was and on and on. He continued visitation and when his daughter was 4 months old, the wife grew tired of being a full time mother. She asked if we could take her on Thursday nights from day care and drop her off on Monday mornings so that she could party.
I was so nervous that first weekend. I had seen his daughter once before when she was 2 months old in his car. I was scared that she would not know us and would cry all night. This was far from the case. His daughter, Nicole fit in with our lives from the first day. That first Saturday, he had to go meet a customer and I was going to be alone with her for the first time, I was terrified. It turned out that she fell asleep with me holding her. I fell for her immediately. Since she was so little she still woke up in the middle of the night and I was exhausted. It was also hard adjusting to getting her and myself ready in the morning for work and the baby sitters, but she was worth every moment.
Nicole, stayed with us every weekend for the next 8 months. We even had her for a full week at one point for some reason. We both loved the time with her. His wife would do mean things like call at 3 in the morning to check on her or send her without clothes or diapers, when we called her on it she would say that she simply forgot. Luckily our business was doing ok and we could afford these things. While we were on the trip we had sent her enough money to cover her bills and we did this until the baby was born. After she was born R had also started giving her a couple hundred bucks a month to help with the baby's expenses.
After 8 months of continual visitation, she got mad because Nicole's first word was my name. She was horrified and called and said we could not see her again. Nicole was almost a year old the last time I saw her. We spoke to the sitter where we picked her up and she said that she was no longer going there. When we tried to call or go by, she had pratically dissapeared. R contacted an attorney and tried to get her back but with little money it was very hard.
At one point I even contacted my soon to be ex-husband. Remeber that they were seeing each other, well now they were living together and he brought her to see us, 2 months had passed by and she was a little over a year old. That day she called my husband Daddy and did not recognize R. He was devastated. My ex would not give us any information on their where abouts but he did bring her and apparently R;s soon to be ex wife could not find out about it or she would be pretty upset. After 2 years of trying to find her and gain visitation again, I decided to start a new life and go to college 350 miles away. We moved and 3 months after moving she turned up and wanted the divorce. She also wanted child support and since we were miles away he did not fight for visitation. He had given up. I tried to encourage him but he said seeing her in court and what she had said and done, he could not go through it. Apparently, she said she was scared of him and what he might do to her. She had tried to say that he hit her but had no evidence thankfully. He went down to Miami for a hearing and they were divorced that day.
I was divorced 6 months before, my ex had faught me at first but eventually given up and things were settled. I had no idea that it could take years to get divorced.
Since we were both divorced now, we were free. We were very much in love. We would wake up some weekend mornings and still be excited to be next to the other. We would spend an entire day in bed, where we would talk about everything or nothing. I was the happiest, I have ever been. We lived in a tiny apartment across the street from the college and we had very few friends but I did not mind. We were together, we were happy and we were free. What more could we ask for? R started asking me to marry him and for some reason I was terrified. I was scared things would change, I wanted to finish school and I wanted things to happen in the right order. He also really wanted a child but I was scared of that too because of what had happened with Nicole. We settled on enjoying life for a little while. I told him I wanted to marry him when I finished shcool. He agreed and life moved on.
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Posted by prelude2it on 2008-04-01 19:45:00 | Rating: | Views: 132
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aww. I'm so glad to hear even with out the pressure of a parent you still went to school. Most people wouldn't have done that.
Your awesome and I love your story.
<3
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Posted by LadiLucifer
on 2008-02-13 12:51:06
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