So last night, I had a friend call who was obsessing over an email she sent to some guy she's been playing bejeweled with online. She was nervous about how he would take it and she is now interested in him. She's 28 and he's 47. I don't know if she has thought this through but she was in tears because he had not emailed her within 24 hours and when he did, he basically said something like I'm busy doing xyz and I'll talk to you soon. She keeps responding even if there are no questions in his emails. In part, I think she's like this because she lives an hour from here and has no friends there so she hangs on to any bit of attention. Anyway, so when I hang up Brian asks me what was up with my friend.

I told him she was acting a little crazy but I understood her. So we somehow get on the topic of our argument a few weeks ago where I got pretty upset and thought it was over. It's the only physical type of argument. Here's where I worry. I feel like I am in some way training Brian. At first he was pretty much, you were crazy for getting upset like you did. When he realized that I was bothered that even now a month later he did not understand me, he said I was trying to draw a correlation with what's going on with your friend. I do understand you and went on to explain why that had happened and was very supportive. He was even affectionate as he was talking.

Now my dilemma, why the big change? I worry about this because I feel like I changed R to be someone he was usually not. When I met R, we had some crazy arguments. I left him on the side of the road once in another state because he was driving my car like a crazy person, he would weave in and out of traffic to where you could not see where my car ended and the other one began. He even did this on the causeway to Miami Beach at over 100 mph when traffic was crawling. I also remember throwing stuff at him because he pissed me over something or over.  He would push my buttons. It took about 2 years for R and I to get into our routine and after that we hardly argued. Well when we went through the divorce, he said that he never felt that he could be himself. That he had to keep up this act in order for me to stay with him and he got tired of keeping up the act. He said he always felt like he was not worthy of having me in his life. I had trouble believing this because I felt like we were so close but right after the divorce, he quit his job with a baby on the way (that I did not know about).  When I asked him he said he had worked hard to keep up with me and he no longer needed to do it, the new girl accepted him whether he worked or not and paid for everything for that time.

So my concern is that Bri is doing the same thing and it's not something he will be able to keep up. I have trouble believing that in one weekend he matured that much. I believe a person cannot change, they can just adjust.