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I can't do it anymore. I want to join a gym, eat healthy and see a therapist to help me.
So yesterday morning i confessed to my boyfriend that i am bulimic. yep, big time. I'm not even proud, I hate it, it's ruining everything for me, my thoughts, my physical health and especially my mental health. It affects everything, it's unreal. My boyfriend is quite upset and annoyed about it, had a bit of a go of me and said he won't be around to watch me kill myself when, (and heres the killer) i don't even have any fat on me. Said my body is the way how it's supposed to be, Greek. Greek women are cursed, why doesn't anyone listen to me, seriously? I weighed myself last night for the first time in months and i've lost over a stone, a whole stone and more. That is such a big achievement it's unreal but i'm not supposed to be proud, i should realise what i'm doing to myself but my inner evil bitch doesn't understand.
It's so frustrating, I feel like i'm carrying two personalities around, literally a Jekyll & Hyde. Bulimia will not let me go outside unless I have to or want to. I can't be in Supermarkets for long otherwise I over analyse everything in the trolley. I can't go out to clubs because I know I will be hungry afterwards having skipped dinner so I veg out afterwards.
But I can't.
What the hell is making it so hard?
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Posted by poppyxstars on 2007-09-20 05:14:47 | Rating: n/a | Views: 167
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