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| The year of crap promises and new starts arises. |
No, I'm not that cynical. (or am I?) & I'm not doing one of those 'THIS IS MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION BLOG, I'M SO GOING TO STICK TO IT' I created and made my commitments this year and I intend to carry on with them, only I'm just adding No More Ice Cream, EVER on the list. I guess I'm kinda reflecting back on the year (I know, how boring!) and almost every person I've spoken to has said the same thing, this is a year to remember. I see this year as life changing, in the not so obvious way. I've learned some hard lessons and discovered new ways and thoughts, I sort of feel I'm nearly becoming an adult, despite it being my birthday a few days ago. I've never really felt this grown up before, I know I got a bit more to do, but at least I'm on my way. I'm very pleased I haven't gained weight, I've come a long, hard way since my days of bulimia. It still hangs around though, rearing it's ugly presence now and then, and although I can admit myself I'm a messed up anorexic who refuses to eat anything savoury and exercises until I can't do no more on a daily basis, I'm still glad of what I've gone through. But I've got a deep feeling it's going to repeat itself on me in the new year, what with summer coming up, I think I already no that hardly any eating and bulimia is on the cards. Idk, it's hard to ever express. Anyway, I was thinking of being ultra corny and coming up with like the top 10 moments of my year or something, who knows?
edit another day
EDIT.
I enjoy my Sundays usually, but for some odd reason, as mother is sitting in bed watching a crap film only people born in the 1900's can only understand, I sit here feeling sad, yet I have no reason why. I don't want to feel all crap so early in the god damn year, at least give me a month or something. Nah, I'll be fine, I'll be in the kitchen soon concocting a home made low calorie chocolate sauce for ice cream seeing as the store bought one is nearly finished and the only shop that stocks them is a good half hour away and I can't bring myself to have a social Sunday, it's made for staying indoors cosied up with the papers and a roast dinner, etc, so lets hope the experiment goes well! On Tuesday I've got tickets to a psychic medium for me and mother, weird thing is, it's also my nanna's birthday that day, I'd be so deighted if she came through with a message for mum, I hope so. ..Sundays can be boring sometimes though, can't they? Thank god I haven't got a younger sister, she'd be mentally scarred through my boredness.
I had an egg white and turkey bacon omelette with weight watchers bread for breakfast (139 cals) and I'm supposed to have a few slices of turkey and veg later for dinner but part of me is dreading it, I can't stand feeling the slightest bit full, it makes me feel so queasy, it just seems too heavy 'cos I feel rather full after breakfast. Mebbe I'll just have an apple and some 10 cal jelly, I look forward to that more actually, but I'll have to work it around mother who I know is starting to cast her eye on my food more recently. I could cook it, go in my room to 'eat' munch on my apple, hide the food, etc, but I don't want to resort to that sort of shit, i'm not that kind of binge-anorexic. It's so tiring though, this whole process.
oh & ps. Scrubs season 8 in January, are you freakin' kidding me? eek!
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Posted by poppyxstars on 2008-12-28 05:57:01 | Rating: | Views: 119
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