It's amazing, if we were granted one wish, some would grant theirs immediately, some would wait forever wondering what the perfect wish would be and the rest write a top ten list alphabetically. I wouldn't, I would make a very materialistic top ten then a non materialistic top ten, and choose forever trying to choose one, but it would be simple of course, I would wish for more wishes. Loop holes my friend.

So what would yours be?

I'm gonna try and do a rough top ten on both sides.

Materialistic;

1. Scrubs was actually real and I got hired as a nurse.
2. Endless amounts of money so I would never have to work.
3. My own car, i'm not good with cars but a pretty one.
4. An everlasting cat so mine will never leave me and I will look cool.
5. As much lipo as I want, kthx.
6. Me & the mister blissfully happy forever.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Non-Materialistic;

1. Good health
2. My mum to have good health
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

See, I'm terrible, I can't even finish it, but I will get back to it later on, honest.

I was good again yesterday, I had a sweet craving due to the weed so I ate a couple of chocolate marshmellows but that was it, and it's nice, I feel kinda light, emptyish so nothing is dwelling on me. For once, the food thing isn't bothering me as such.

It's 'Isabella'. She texted me this morning on my way to work asking If i'm going out tonight and do I want to go out with her she has money, etc, acting like nothing happened. Maybe I was turning it into a massive drama and she wasn't even sweating it, but it's different with me. As soon as I saw that text message my thumbs wanted to spell out no in such a way she wouldn't even text me again, but I just put my phone back in my bag. I did eventually text back saying that I get off on Monday if she wants to hit a bar then, just to shut her up, then she replies with 'Cool, I start all week at 2pm anyway so it's fine and anyway i'm going out tonight and your other friends might be going you bore'. Thing is, I don't want to be in that particular friend zone. I'd rather we hardly talk but part on good terms. Maybe text her here and there sometimes but not really because I don't feel I care anymore. I know I seem like such a bitch. It is a bit sad but I can't help how i feel. Maybe it'll turn around and our friendship will have a new slate (notice how I didn't say clean slate?) but hand on heart, I'm not bothered. I'm not sitting here wondering what should I do, I know what to do, it just takes time. I have to slowly pull away. These feelings did happen out of knowhere and I don't have any dramas like this with any other friend so why is it, I'm 20 years old and I feel intimidated by a so called best friend? I should stop caring but and not make a big deal out of this but once, she was such a good friend, we were inseparable, I loved her, we were best friends but it's all changed now, shes turned spiteful, arrogant and stubborn and i don't want to put up with it.

So this is me, not caring.

Seems a bit hyprocritical of me writing that statement after that paragraph, don'tcha think?

I may or may not of edited this, you will just have to guess. I want to explain about my choice of blog titles for today. ''If I had one wish'' is a lyric from Ray-J's song 'one wish'. I'm guessing most people chose not to like it, but I love it, it's more than a song for me. The time it came out was around the time me and my boyfriend started having troubles but we both discovered this song, and we singlehandedly went out and got the album and listened to it non stop, we only discovered some time/months later in his car whilst he started playing the album. 'One Wish' will always stick out for me. You know one of them songs that you feel like has been written for you? It's just amazing. I'm not sure why I'm choosing to talk about this. I think it's because I'm looking out of the office window and it is a dreary, rainy day but i like it, not in a depressive way or anything, reminds me of much simpler younger times I guess. Anyway, it makes me feel happy so I give the ol' boyfriend a call and we have a talk which i love, i know it sounds so dorky but i love talking to him and realising just how smart and strong he really is, he is amazing, he is my soul. Our relationship had always seemed different and serious from the start. When we first met I hadn't even had a boyfriend yet and he was the player of the teenage guys. But for some reason, a strange reason, he gave that all up when he met me. It's just been a journey and I love him for it and cherish our years we spent together. He is that kinda guy where I don't need anyone else. I know it sounds a little extreme and as if I'd push away my friends away for it, it isn't like that at all, it's about being so at peace with someone that they are literally your everything. Yeah, sure, of course we have hard times but what couple doesn't? You need those times to crack away the black stuff and find that diamond.

Yes I have rambled on, there is no point to my paragraph, but I needed to offload some thoughts, kinda like how dumbledore uses a pensieve to store his thoughts, this is my muggle way of doing it!