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| fuck being trapped, i'm just stuck.
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I just spoke to my boyfriend again, we was screaming at each other on the phone and I cried my eyes out after I put the phone down.
''Apparantly'' (according to the mister), as long as I eat, starting from now, I'll be fine but I want attention so I just had to make it into a big thing.
He won't help me unless it's to bring round junk food and said he is not sure if we are together anymore.
i can't stop crying, I wish I never told him, how fucking low.
i have doctors on monday and i just really would like it if i got a therapist or similar because it seems like my bulimia is more mental than physical now, it's scaring me.
i'm so annoyed, how can he just bail out on me when i need him the most. i know bulimia is a self inflicted tool but i'm struggling to understand it myself.
i really hope that my boyfriend (or not..) will just stick by me, it's really shitty if he does fuck off, 8 years? he should know better.
advice?
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Posted by poppyxstars on 2007-09-20 08:07:18 | Rating: | Views: 247
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Yeah he sounds as though he really doesnt understand but unless you have it or are helping somebody i suppose it can be difficult to get your head round. I would suggest asking your doctor because you can get therapy called CBT which helps you understand why you binge and what triggers it.
It has ruined one of my relationships, but to be honest i think it is better me being alone. If he isn't being constructive with his comments and bringing you junk food, i would take a break. You need to concentrate on getting yourself better and he could be making you worse by upsetting you.
Try and explain, if he understands and waits for you and helps you, great :)
But if he doesnt, there will always be somebody out there willing to!
Good luck =)
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Posted by bLou88
on 2007-09-20 10:56:50
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I didn't like who I was when I was struggled with bulimia. It was a total mental game with me, once I figured out my triggers I was able to figure out how to stop. Bringing around junk food doesn't help, that's usually a trigger. Tell him to bring healthy food that you can enjoy without feeling guilty. Stay strong.
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Posted by rn03jh
on 2007-09-21 12:33:33
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Thank you for the comment and I do know you are right. I was reading your entry, and realized you too are fighting similiar mental obstacles. I like looking at it like an obstacle, just because it means there are answers. I just have to figure them out. I don't know alot about bulemia, but I would imagine like any addiction, it is one about figuring out your trigger points, and two about rounding up a good, strong, and diverse foundation of support. The more people you have to support you, the more likely you will have someone to help you get through the times, when you feel like you are failing yourself. I don't know if this helped or not, but if you ever need to talk, please feel free to e-mail me...
I hope you are doing ok, and again thank you for your comment. You are right!
Best wishes
Shelley
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Posted by shellmcnamara
on 2007-09-22 06:35:43
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