| View Blog
|
|
|
I'm really sorry I haven't been writing lately. There's not much to say [anything you'd really want to read anyway]. I want to start my Kate's Tips again, but I'm really self conscious of myself right now. Its a funny thing you know? I just feel like everything is so transitionary and so permanent at the same time. I'm perfectly content with my relationship with Jake and my dad and the house, but this, all the rest just seems so fake. I just want to cry sometimes and its never good.
I try to make new friends, it just blows up in my face. I just don't relate to anyone it seems right now. I feel so done with Flagstaff. I hung out with someone new on Halloween and that was pretty much a bomb. I had a good time, but in retrospect, I think I was made sort of a fool behind my back, and that's never fun.
To be paranoid like this isnn't fun. And I think its because I stopped taking the Cymbalta, and I haven't bothered to get back on it. Which, I know, its bad and it sets me back farther in the long run, but right now, even doing that seems like a chore that I don't want to deal with.
I wake up every morning and dread going to work or school. I love the people I'm with, but God, the people I deal with on a regular basis drive me crazy.
I can't take it at Kohl's anymore, I cant stand half of my coworkers, and I don't really feel like making friend anymore because the last one (Halloween) just was a huge setback for me. And I know it shouldn't be, but it is. I just feel so frumpy mixed in with all these beautiful people I work with and I don't really know why I'm there. I pride myself on my intellectualism, but then why I'm working in a fucking retail shop? Because I have to to get out of this place.
I'm so stressed out about work that I don't even want to go to classes and I don't a lot of the time. So I didn't go on the exam day and now I have to make it up and I have a bad feeling that its going to be tomorrow but I work tomorrow, so have to call out, make myself look bad and let down other people. People that I'm pretty sure can't stand me in the first place, but hey, I'm just that person that will like the shit off your feet if you ask me to. Anything to get ahead. Only I'm going nowhere.
So get this, I'm working at the store one day and they overscheduled people at the registers. And I was sick. So this other girl wants to go home and she goes up to the 27 (our supervisor) and asks if she can go home (actually asks if she and I can go home) and he says no to me and yes to her. This is the fucking shit I put up with every single day.
Grrr...
Anyways, the point is, once things get better and I get ahold of myself and feel better about myself, I'll start posting more Kate's Tips.
much love,
Kate
|
|
Posted by political_silence on 2007-11-13 22:33:48 | Rating: | Views: 57
|
| |
|
|
