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On Social Networking Sites, and Web Whores.

God Damn, I'm jealous of people who have 5,000 hits a day. Where's the love for me huh? Well, I'm planning world domination once I get more than five people who read my blog [although, I DO love you all who do read it :D]. Anyways, what is it about those people who everyone is attracted to on the web? Are they just more perfect or prettier than me? And what about you? I know you want attention and adoring fans. So here goes, my tips for being a web whore:

Kate's Tips for being a web whore
1. Don't be picky about the people who add you as friends, read your blogs or make comments. That guy that looks like he kills kittens probably is a little weird, but hey, he's one more person right?
2. Make your Myspace page a whorey as possible. I'm talking about glitter, and those stupid little dolls that are all decked out in hip hop clothes.
3. Change your name to "baby boo" or something equally cute. People seem to love this.
4. Take half naked pictures and post them. Its not skanky on the internet, its sexy.
5. Write blogs about your little lapdog and its bowel movements. Think Paris and Nichole baby!
6. If you aren't cute, sexy or charismatic, be funny. Not Dane Cook funny [he's not funny] but like witty. Post a few youtube videos of you making an ass out of yourself. That seems to do the trick.
7. Change that song to a bumping top forty hit. Like Britney's new song. Who cares if its not what you like. Even World Dominators have to make a few sacrifices.
8. Be a tease.
9. Thank your fans. Not sincerely. But in some cutesy way.
10. Remember, in the world wide web, its all about who you screw, not who you know.