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| Does she have to be black - the next round!
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This is an ongoing issue but the next round of bullets fired began with the...Why are you black men of good upbringing and good education going for white girls who don't meet the grade when there are single black women - educated in good jobs and wholesome good women. I've written about the prospect of interracial relationships several times- in fact it seems that my in depth literary forays into this issue without being in that particular situation have come back to wrestle with me now but its one hell a battle that I’m up for. It’s horrible at times because the source of opposition can come from as close to home as you can get outside of your own brain. Now I’ve always considered myself to be a rational thinker, I have my own ideas as to constructs of blackness and what is culturally relevant to me. Narrow mindedness can be good for business if you know what you want having looked at everything and then decided what your goal and path to achieving that is. The same I guess can be applied to relationships, although I argue that love and true happiness are peculiar creatures. I don’t believe for one second that there is a set theory that you can apply to every situation.
The first statement about meeting someone of a different culture that doesn’t meet the grade…to me does not speak out love, it speaks out of a bitterness towards a situation…most people who want to settle down at some point, wants someone who complements them – not competes with them, similar types and opposites attract, some people marry their first love, many don’t, some people find their true love marry someone else then get divorced only to marry their first love. Go figure! Who decides what is good for you or not good for you? You do! Yet still there are some people in this world that want to impose their own set of ideals on others – in some ways at various points in life we have to influence others but when the desire to be that influence is born out of a selfishness then it will inevitably cause friction.
Do I speaking as a black male need to seek the approval of herd of black females as to the person I take for a lover? Do they need to pass the “do we like her test”? “Can we visibly see why you are together?” test. Picture this, black man educated, of good character takes white, educated in good career female, who does not look like the typical type of female who goes for the black male, and in black females opinion is deemed off the radar of people within her own culture yet black male finds her attractive and of the nature that when ready would considering settling down with her. Despite black male having gotten close to several black females and maybe others of other cultures too but never found someone with the qualities that he’s been looking for until he’s met this person. Black female then begins to shoot harpoon like comments like “scraped bottom of the barrel”, “I picture you with a black wife, and black babies with afro’s running around”, “She doesn’t even have good hair”, breaks down in tears and asks “why guys like you don’t say hello to girls like me”, “You’d be upset with me if knowing what I’m about I married a ruffian or drug dealer wouldn’t you”. Does black male then jump back at black female and engage in confrontation or leave it hanging with a passive non-response being the response?
My thoughts on this are this…If two people compliment each other well whether that is by the way they look or behave then there should be no immediate reason for persistent discouragement to the point of outright vicious attacks on the choice of partner because that is wrong. There is nothing wrong with people loving their own culture whatsoever, and yes people in general do find people from circles they travel in…so what’s the point ? Because black male doesn’t have a large black circle he’s making the wrong decision? Consider this the black male prefers black or white to any other culture in terms of potential partner, for him it’s a who ever fulfils what he needs in terms of qualities that will keep him going for as long as the relationship lasts. He used to give time of day to every girl that so much as hinted interest in him and then after a series of false starts stopped looking, stopped showing interest in every girl that he found attractive. At the end of the film Jungle Fever by Spike Lee, the black male and white Italian female go back to being with people of their own culture after the stark opposition to their pairing drives a wedge between them, however there is a white Italian male who ends up being paired off with a black female of high intellect of the same type that currently cry out where are the black males. If you exclusively prefer one race then fair enough but don’t kill another person because they aren’t what you have in mind for them. Militancy only causes irritancy.
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Posted by poetic7 on 2008-07-01 09:34:20 | Rating: | Views: 74
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like the last line
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Posted by ffeeona
on 2008-07-01 10:06:42
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I love your entire blog poetic7. You are describing my man and I to a T. Both of us are college educated intelligent people. I have dated black men before, but I am the first white woman he has dated. It has it ups and downs. He definitely gets a harder time than I do.
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Posted by johannaguerra
on 2008-07-02 11:19:08
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