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| Victims of Crimes Need Justice |
~Don’t Let it Be the End when Happiness is the Future.~
Have you ever been a victim of a horrific crime? If you have been did you get justice or do you feel like you got justice? Do you really think the Department of Criminal Justice system is there to protect you from criminals? These are some really important questions to consider and seek your own answers for. As for me I have been a victim of a few horrific crimes, and even though the Department of Criminal Justice thought they did everything they could to give me justice they DID NOT get me justice or even made me feel like there was any justice. In fact they may feel like the Department of Criminal Justice works in favor of the Criminals and NOT the Victim.
I was just a small 110lbs girl that had something sacred taken from me by a 180lb 6 foot man that knew right from wrong but did not care what he was taking from me and what it would do to me for the rest of my life. They say rape is all about the “Power/Control”, and not the sexual act itself, and it took me a long time to understand this, but they are right. They want to have that control or power over you, and even though you may never see your rapist again (if you are lucky you won’t) they still have control or power over you and your future life. They have control or power over you by making you scared of everyone you met, they have control or power over you by making you not go out late at night or go anywhere without a friend, family member or group of people. They have control or power over the amount of sleep you get, because every time you close your eyes you see your rapist or the act of the rape happening all over again. They have control or power over the things you smell and you do not even realize this until one day a smell of food, cologne, flowers, etc. bring back those vivid images and you re-live it all over again. They have control or power over your heart, your soul, and your trust because it takes a long time to be able to let yourself ever trust anyone enough to love completely and to share your soul with. They have control or power over your entire life ONLY if you let them.
What do I mean by this? Even though it will take time and therapy to heal the wounds inflicted by the rapist, just know that the sooner you seek help, the sooner you talk about it, and the sooner you report it to the police the sooner you give up the Power or Control your rapist has on you.
Even though I am greatly disappointed with the Department of Criminal Justice, people still need to report their crimes. Just because I reported my rapist and he basically walked dose not mean I have given up on Justice. You see a few months after I reported the rape I found out I was pregnant, and even though I still had time to abort the pregnancy I couldn’t. I could not kill an innocent baby; I could not give this baby up for adoption for 2 reasons. One reason is because I would always have those thoughts of “What If?” The second reason is because I found out that they biological father would have rights to the baby if I had it and gave it up for adoption.
OMG this creep would get this child if I had it and gave it for adoption. I then found out that if I had this child and kept it that his biological father would have maternal rights to the child as long as he paid child support. Even if he got convicted of the rape, that after he served his time he would have maternal rights to the child. I also found out that he had no criminal record, and that there was no witnesses to the rape, and there was not a lot of physical proof, he made me clean up afterwards, and that he had a whole slew of guys that was going to testify that they had at one point had consensual sex with me, so if he was found guilty he would probably get a light sentence, which means he would get out of prison while the child was still young and then have rights to the child.
I prayed for days and asked for guidance from God to help me with the decisions I faced. I finally made a decision that I was not to thrilled about because it meant letting a rapist go and possibly rape more victims. But not all was lost because what I did was cut a deal with his attorneys, and that deal consisted of he plea guilty, get a suspended sentence (this means no jail time), got put on probation, but in order to get this deal he had to sign away all parental rights to the child I was carrying. Well needless to say he jumped on this deal, and all was not lost because he did plea guilty and now he has a criminal record of rape so the next time he would get the maximum sentence, if there was a next time. I prayed that there never would be a next time; I prayed that this was his first time that he had done this and that it scared him bad enough to not ever do it again. I do not know if that is what happened, but he still lives in that same small town of 12,000 people, and from what I know he has never broken the law again or at least has not gotten caught at it.
Well I moved away from that town years ago, and I had and kept my baby boy. I prayed during my entire pregnancy that I would not be like those women you hear of that had a child out of rape or hate and they hated the child because it was a constant reminder or their rapist or the person they hated, and all I can say if God answered my prayers. My son looked nothing like him; in fact my son is my Male Identical Twin in every way possible. He is my Twin in looks, things he likes, dislikes, his expressions, and food. They way I look at this situation is that God gave me something very precious and beautiful out of something very bad and horrific.
It took me many years to talk about this, and many years to trust, but I can talk about it now and I do trust my husband, friends, and family. And with each passing day I heal a little more.
I do however have trust issues with the Department of Criminal Justice, and I think I always will, for this is not the only time I got burned by them when I was the Victim.
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Posted by pixie_36 on 2009-11-02 08:28:02 | Rating: | Views: 21
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