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| FEAR, FEAR, FEAR.... |
Your body starts to sweat, your head starts spinning, you get sick at your stomach, your breaths start coming so fast and your heart is racing so fast that you think that you are having a heart attack, and your body starts shaking just before you pass/black out.
Living with a Panic Disorder may be one of the most worst things to live with. I live everyday with this disorder and even though I have been in counseling for years, been on medications for this and other disorders, my panic disorder has escalated so much that I cannot leave my home. I am a country girl that lives in the mountains and I love everything outdoors from camping, to fishing, to hiking, to canoeing, to caveing, to just being outside, but now I cannot enjoy these things anymore. I have been diagnosied with sever Panic Attacks with Agoraphobic tendencies.
I have not left my home now in two weeks, and even though I truely miss the outdoors, I have to say that since my diagnosis and since the Panic Attacks have started, the past two weeks has been happy ones for me. I have still had some attacks but they did not escalate into black outs, and I know, that is because I was not in an environment with triggers.
I am working on getting the 'Old Me" back. I do have my counseling sessions, on the phone or via web cam, and I am planning on trying in the near future to go to Wally World (Wal-Mart) but it will be me and my hubby going like at 3am in the morning when there will be hardly anyone there, because the closest Wal-Mart we have is 40 miles away in a town of only about 14 thousand people.
But I take one day at a time, as I fight my inner demons, but I am determined to be the winner of this game with my inner demons.
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Posted by pixie_36 on 2009-10-24 19:37:06 | Rating: | Views: 30
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