Thoughts.com Blogs - Send my regards to the soy people

I have decided I'm about as romantic as a wet sock.....I just don't have it in me....I don't get excited over beefy muscular men.....my girlfriends do.....and more power to them.....I just don't get it....most likely I never "got" it.....Not that I don't notice when a man is attractive....I just don't think about it....whatever I suppose......

I'm not a mushy person or lovey dovey for that matter....I wouldn't call myself the Ice Queen(thats my Mothers title,she's so cold she poops out ice cubes)....I'm not touchy feely....and I get uncomfortable when people touch me.....no, I wasn't sexually abused....though I was married for more than half my life.....that could be considered abuse?...Maybe its the early menapause?....I am about 5-10 years early...Nah...I just think I never had it.....maybe my kids were concieved by immaculate conception?...Nah, another thing I'm going to have to answer for...talk about going to hell in a hand basket....that was done the "old fashioned" way....big whoopty doo....a real big whoopty diddley doo....was it exciting for you?....I know me niether.......

In my 30's I was waiting for my sexual time clock to go off....it stayed on snooze.....I think it went off for a total of 2 seconds when I was 38.....then poof.....back to snooze.....With all the magazine articles I read....I was supposed to be a nymphmaniac....HA!.....big fat lie.....With all the Phil Donahue and Oprah guests I've seen on this topic......big let down.....No, I'm not going to wrap myself in celephane and greet him at the front door.....what are you crazy?...Champagne and rose petals.....I don't like champagne and I would be the one cleaning up the rose petals....try again....Porn you say?..Ok....so that means now I can watch him whack off?....good grief.....role playing?....So I can die by laughing?...a man in a cape and black socks....is just too funny......I don't think it would help the ego any.....I think I'm screwed literally, screwed.....

Now in my 40's which will be coming to a close in a few years.....I want back the money I spent on those stupid magazines....I'm just not a Cosmo girl....I think I'm more of a Readers Digest broad....come to think of it the "soy" isn't helping either.......the soy products can stick it as well....

The only things that excite me these days is when he takes out the trash and does the dishes occasionally....Wow that was a good one....can you take the trash out again?....Ahh wash that dish...show it whose boss.....good grief I've resorted to feeling good about trash and dirty dishes.....

If I ever had a libido....I had either lost it before I had it....or never knew what it was unless printed in a magazine.....For those of you that have had one,still have one or have rediscovered one...Congratulations....and happy libidoing......maybe mines under the couch along with my missing sock?....

I have a girlfriend thats like Baskin and Robbins 31 flavors.....she's tried them all and goes back for more......I'm glad somebody is well versed in this venture....more power to her....though I am entertained by her stories....I just don't get it....I'm happy for her....I hope she enjoys her hobby till shes older than Methuselah or until her plumbing falls out.

Me on the other hand is collecting trash and dirtying up dishes....maybe my libido fell in the sink?...I don't know....Jesus...the cat has poop on his tail...just lovely....now I get to bathe the cat.....could things be any more cheerful?...If you happen to find my libido send it to the makers of silk soy milk,give them my regards and please if you don't mind....tell them to stick it.