Thoughts.com Blogs - No sense of direction -buckle up

I shouldn't be allowed to drive....I can't believe they were silly enough to give me a license.....I have a horrible sense of direction...let me rephrase that....I have no sense of direction, period.....

A few times a year I would have to drive up to Ct for sales meetings and other "hoopla".....Just a waste of time. Once we had to go up for a luncheon....good grief......first we get stuck waiting to get onto the George Washington bridge.....thats always a fiasco....After a 3 1/2 hour drive....we were there for 1 1/2 hours.....had a lunch of your choice of still squirming prime rib(I happen to like mine rare) and just add water chicken....that chicken looked as dry as a popcorn fart....after our not so delicious and not so nutritious lunch fare.....the God awful "plaque" presentations began.....Our table needed toothpicks to keep our eyes open....was a real snooze fest......We recieved "our plaque"....I'm sure they've heard of UPS?.....surely they could of sent it?.....Nah....much more fun to have already over worked employees drive through 4 states for an 1 1/2 lunch.....jerks....I still hope they have the trots....did I mention they were jerks?....Good, I'm glad I cleared that up....I digress....

Of course I always got the pleasure of doing the driving. My bosses car wouldn't of made it.....and my work husband didn't smoke.....so looks like Pita aka Polly Anna will drive......Now these two knew that I have absolutely no sense of direction......and they both stunk as co pilot's....as bad as my sense of direction is......their navigation skills bit the big one......I never had a problem making it to Manchester, Ct........coming home was another story.....you see....we should have gotten back to Pennsylvania in 3 1/2 hours......not 6.......I have this habit of ending up in Deleware for some unforseen reason.......LACK OF NO DIRECTION........As soon as I see the sign that reads "Welcome to the Deleware memorial bridge" .......I know I'm screwed and anyone else in the car is screwed as well....Now this takes me 25-30 miles southwest of home.....aint that a kick in the pants?.....

Not to mention being stuck in traffic in the Bronx....just sitting there....not moving for what felt like an eternity.....only to finally make it out of New York, Jersey and bypassing Pennsylvania all together.......Telling me I have taken the wrong exit after I have done it .......well.....good thing I'm a nice person and don't carry a gun.....I would of made them get out onto the turnpike at gun point and they could walk home......stinking bad navigators.....Were in Deleware again.....good grief.....

I do however know how to get home from Deleware......most likely because ........I HAVE SCREWED IT UP SO MANY TIMES......

Worst trip home I was by myself......left New York.....take the wrong exit for Jersey......I did make it to Pennsylvania that time.......via the Pocono's.......yep.....I ended up in the Pocono's.....driving around the Del Valley watershed.......good grief, talk about stupid.......I was 2 -3 hours north of home....I just live outside of Philly.......Philly was in my grasp and I screwed it up again......instead of ending up in Deleware......son of a bitch....Pocono's this go around.....This was an 8 hour ride home from Ct, due to my no sense of direction......

I can't believe you can be issued a drivers license when you have no sense of direction.....My only hope is to have a chauffeur or plead another dreaded blond moment......So if you see a silver bug with Pa plates going the wrong way down a oneway street.....yep its me......don't even bother trying to give me directions.....they won't compute...my brain won't know what they are.....if cars had a "dummy switch"......mine would never have started.