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| Jack , Its so nice out I think I'll leave it out
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I left a comment on a post this morning. It brought back a flood of memories of my now ex father in law. I had no problem divorcing his son, I'm just sad my relationship with his parents went along with the divorce.
My inlaws were two of the funniest people. I have blogged about Betty(mother inlaw) that had made a point of crapping her pants in public more than once. She was a hoot (rest her soul) and Jack was just plain funny.
He retired after years of being a Cheif MAS for the Veterans hospital. When they were living in Phoenix before his last post, he bartended at a VFW club on Friday and Saturday nights to make extra money. I really believe bartending was his calling, Jack told wonderful stories and always was good for a joke. he told some dilly's.
My father inlaw was and I'm sure is still a character. Rest assured if you went shopping with him, he will have embarrassed you in public before the day was through.
He looks like a tall turtle, bald with a comb over. He refered to his comb over as his "personality". His sons would love to mess his bald spot up. Jack would yell out "leave my personality alone. He also had a deep furrow between his brows, which gave him the nickname "butt head" by his wife. Later she exchanged the word butt head for "dick head".
Jack had nicknames for his family. His wife was called lumpy, flower of the orient aka stink weed. I miss hearing "come on Lumpy, lets go". His son Jim was called Jim blob, baby Hewie and Mount Vesuvius. John (my ex husband) was John boy after John boy from the Waltons. If you are familiar with the show, you might remember "big cheif tablets" that John boy wrote on. One year for Christmas my father inlaw found some and gave them to John. He says "Daddy! i got me some big cheif tablets from Santy Claus"....Norma his only daughter was spared a nick name and so was his youngest son Chris. I suppose he felt Chris was picked on enough from his two older brothers...And mine was "gracella" I believe thats self explanitory, occasionally he called me a dizzy blond.
Jack and his two sons Jim and John are at the drug store standing in line waiting to pay. Jack bursts out saying "Do you like puppy dogs? I like puppy dogs" the cashier looks at him, thinks hes brain damaged and says "yes, I like puppy dogs too. So he looks at his sons and repeats his question. So all three of the idiots are saying "do you like puppy dogs? I like puppy dogs.
I was working at a department store in a strip mall within walking distance of our house. We had bought our home just two houses down from my inlaws. My father inlaw would take daily walks, sometimes he would stop by the store and say hi. This day I'm running the register thats right infront of the out door. My father in law walks by, pokes his head in sees me and says LOUDLY "Its such a nice day out, I think I'll leave it out" and walks on. My customer is looking at me with a WTF look on her face. I wasn't claiming him as family, it would of worked if my friend Donna would have kept her yap shut. "Hey Jack" she calls out after him. My father in law always did love an audience.
My Mother got him back on day. See, my Mother has farted on everyone I have ever introduced her to. All of my friends have been subject to my Moms "morters". My folks and my inlaws are over at my house for dinner. My Moms standing in the entry way into my dining room. She says "Jack, come here I want to tell you something"....He walks over, my Mother proceeds to turn her cheecks in his direction and lets one rip. She busted loose on my father inlaw. He was speechless for a few seconds. i don't know if it was from lack of air, or brain damage from her noxious fumes. All he could say was "Kirk, do something about your wife"....of course my Mother is quite proud of herself, laughing and snorting. My Dad says "What do you want me to do about it, she does the same to me and I live with her"
I never took my Mothers approach. Like I said she did this to everybody, what an art form, good grief. I don't know who was worse my Mother or Mother in law. I'm surprized they didn't "double" team him.
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Posted by pitapie50 on 2008-05-08 11:06:59 | Rating: | Views: 136
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i lost my father inlaw recently,,funny sweet old school, nice post have a sweet day,,
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Posted by bjm1
on 2008-05-08 11:37:53
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I've always thought that we are made up partly of genetic glop, and partly of the sum of our experiences. I'm beginning to see now how you come to be so hilarious, Pita! You never fail to crack me up, girl!
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-05-08 11:38:41
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Thank you Bj :) Sorry about your loss.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-05-08 11:43:12
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BootLady I was surrounded by dis function and gassy people, good grief.
I'm glad you got a giggle:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-05-08 11:44:05
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ROFLMAO!!!!
I shared this with Mom and like me she 'bout busted a gut, then proceeded to let one rip! Which sent us off on a fresh round of heehaws!
Like I like to say, 'Let'er rip tater chip'!
Thank you for being you!
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Posted by 1221dol0306
on 2008-05-08 16:47:36
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LMAO dol! The squeakers are always the best!
We did start calling my Mom Machine Gun Eva. Good grief have I been hit.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-05-08 19:38:03
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Pita - that was brilliant! We all need people like Jack. Isn't it great you have such lovely memories? People like that are what make the world a good place to live in.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-05-09 02:04:20
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Thank you E:) He is such a funny man. And a good man at that.
When he retired they had always talked of traveling. Unfortunately the only traveling they did was to take care of sick relatives. He never complained, he just made the best out of a bad situation.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-05-09 06:47:21
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Hey Pita, this was an awesome post! :) Had me laughing throughout!! Good day, its been :D Great post, he really sounds like a great guy. Loved the part about his "personality" LOL!
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-05-09 07:42:14
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Thank you angelwings:)
He's such a nice man, him and his "personality". LOL
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-05-09 07:57:16
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LOL Luci...My Moms a tooter from way back. She said she had to learn in defense of my Dad and brother. She has way surpassed anything thats ever bleeped out of their asses :)
My father in law looked like this cartoon turtle. It was a Warners Brothers character, I can't think of his name. It's been driving me crazy.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-05-09 09:31:15
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pita
what a great couple.....too bad that you can't take the ex'es family in the divorce settlement....i will miss some of satan's family too...k
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-05-09 18:39:41
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Hi Pita! I'm finally catching up on your posts! Love this one! My grandmother used to let 'er rip and we grandkids would scatter in all directions! We loved that our grandmother was so cool! LOL! Loved the Jack stories :-) Wonderful post! XXX
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-05-14 20:36:51
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