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| Hand her a side of tolerance please
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Following overthehillandfaraways blog about gay bashing really got me fired up. I am a parent of two gay kids, big deal. They are people and quite nice people at that. I'm not embarrassed or upset I don't see this as a birth defect and I pity those that do. Really, if you have a problem with it search within yourself is the only advice I have to give. For the problem ones pick another cause, honestly why complain about something you know nothing about?
I'm not a religious person so I don't buy the religious argument about being gay is wrong. I really think most of them are puppy bashers anyway. See what I mean? You pick your own poison, with the way you believe. Treat others as you would treat yourself, some folks don't know the meaning of that.
As I tend to go off subject due to my brain misfiring. It's like having snap.krackle and pop the rice kripy guys bouncing around in my head. The joys of menopaus, just don't piss me off I can snap off the handle with the best of them, I digress.....
I'm taking you all down memory lane when I first thought my son might be gay, my daughter is too. I choose to start with my son. I had a pair of red suede pumps, my son loved them. Hold on a minute...I know it sounds like a "cliche". The only thing I had to base my thoughts on at the time were memories of a gay cousin. He loved to play barbies with me and design their outfits. At the time I liked that he liked to play dolls with me. I didn't know anything about being gay. I found my four year old son on many occasions in my closet trying to walk in those red pumps, there were others I suppose he liked the way they looked and felt just as I did. The seed was already planted, not much to base it on other than womans intuition. Atleast my son shared my love of barbies. I started the holiday babrbie collection for my daughter, she wasn't to interested. My son on the other hand would spend hours dressing them up and accesserising them. He also would draw designs for barbie. The boy had a knack for fashion. Before you get your undies in a bunch....YES ...he did play with boy toys as well. He loved legos and tinker toys cars and his bike. He loved ghost busters and would make ghost busting equipment with his tinker toys. He'd run through the house yelling "MOM!!! WATCH OUT.....THERES A GHOST!!!.....and preceed to fling a tinker toy ghost trap across the linoleum as hes blasting the ghost with his tinker toy ghost laser gun. For his birthday I bought him the real ghost busters stuff, I thought he would be excited. Nope, he prefered his tinker toy ghost busting creations. Needless to say I learned my lesson.
I'm happy to report for the most part my son is happy though he complains of living in the midwest isn't good gay territory. He's a musician,was in a band being the only gay. He had to put up with gay jokes and stupid questions. Jeez, he's just a person...he deserves to be treated as such. He wants what everyone else does health and happiness and a person to share it with. He's planing on moving up my way, we've got our own little San Fransico right here. I'm hoping he'll meet someone worthy of him, he deserves that and so much more.
Onto my daughter....my gaydar wasn't as keen with her. I just didn't get the Angelina Jolie pictures posted all over her wall. I kind of thought maybe, though I really didn't care. When she was 17 she came out to me and was shocked at my responce. She had her best friend there for emotional support. That makes me feel bad, I can understand her wanting support and being scared. But, of me? Why be afraid to tell me? If she only knew then what she knows now, she had nothing to fear. She says "mom, im gay".
Me " I already knew that" (with a smile)
Kiddo "what? you knew?"
Me "Oops thats not quite true, I suspected"
Kiddo "Oh"
All in all it went well, she felt at ease and knew I loved her regardless. We had a good laugh, I suppose some nervous laughter. It's not easy to tell people deep secrets when theres the fear of being ostracized. Especially, if you're feeling unsure about it yourself. Fear holds most of us back. A person shouldn't have to live in fear, thats an atrocity in my book. Living your life afraid to live, living by anothers standards. What a shame.
My daughter is in a relationship, very happy and planning a commitment ceremony. It's a shame they can't marry out where they live. They can be covered under their partners health insurance but can't marry. Thats like telling a child your taking them swimming only to let them not go into the water. As long as we have gay bashing theres the narrow minded attitudes to deal with as well. Can't please everybody, theres always going to be somebody to rain on ones parade.
This is my life and my children and I wouldn't want it any other way.
P.S. Irish Robinson get a clue or the stick out of your ass whichever comes first.
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Posted by pitapie50 on 2008-07-24 08:58:15 | Rating: | Views: 106
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I hope your kids have a terrific life!
Why cant people live and let live?
There's those that bash being gay, there's those that are racist, there's those that condemn you because you look for something outside your marriage, so on and so forth.
All I can say is walk a mile in my shoes.
Great post Pita, hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Hugs
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Posted by 1221dol0306
on 2008-07-24 09:35:04
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Thanyou Dol:)
Your sentence says it all "walk a mile in my shoes". I know that I try to when I get my undies in a bunch over things I don't understand.
Have a great weekend yourself:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-24 09:46:57
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Personally, I don't believe that people with a preference for the colour blue should be allowed to congregate in public places...which is, of course, about as intelligent as believing that anyone's sexual preference is any of our business. Who cares?!? Do your thing! Be happy! Find love wherever you can! Geez!
Great post, Pita!
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-07-24 12:13:20
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Thank you BootLady, thats my point exactly who cares? Love who you love and be happy with that:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-24 13:13:51
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Love your post, and I totally agree with you.
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Posted by shuttermom
on 2008-07-24 16:40:16
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Thank you shuttermom:)Thank you for stopping by.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-24 18:19:55
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Gosh, Pita, what a breath of fresh air you are. I can't wait to let my son read your post. You even gave me more insight into the whole gay scene and it's so comforting to know other people totally understand. As to Iris Robinson - well, she could be on her way out. There's an enormous petition going to Downing Street on August 8th asking for a reprimand from the prime minister. I don't regard that as sufficient. Last night she stated that people have misconstrued what she said. Trouble is she said it on radio, in Westminster and in an interview with the newspaper so I don't think we got it wrong. It was loud and clear. Boy, Pita - we could do with you here. Thanks for the amazing support - I shall wear it always!
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-07-25 05:15:05
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Miss E the way I see it is that we all are just people. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. I know I fell off the bus saying Irish Robinson should remove the stick from her southern region. We all deserve to live our lives whether gay or straight. Why should being gay even be an issue? With so much turmoil, starvation, poverty and war going on throughout the world, why single out the gay population? I suppose its fear, fear of not understanding. It's a shame really, just a real shame.
Thank goodness so many of you spoke up E. It's I that should be thanking you:)
You're such a caring and compassionate person Miss E, I wish only the best for you and your family. I'm sure your son is quite proud of his Mom:)
Thank you Miss E:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-25 06:42:43
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Pita, I try but sometimes the going gets tough. Just when you get one child sorted, another needs help. But......Mark is stronger than most. I think your two have a remarkable mother and I am sure they are two great people. All we want is for them to be happy, no matter what their sexuality and for people to accept them, no matter what. I hope you have a peaceful, happy weekend.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-07-25 15:32:29
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I love you! and my siblings! :)
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Posted by LuckyLuci
on 2008-07-25 20:01:32
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Your kids are lucky to have you. I live among people who are pregidous against everyone but white people. It really infuriates me and is so ignorant. I know how you feel about someone speaking bad of gay people. They are just people. People who deserve respect and the right to get married like the rest of us. I am glad you wrote this. Looks like you may have opened a few eyes.
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Posted by Faith
on 2008-07-26 14:05:50
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You are a terrific parent and a wise, tolerant woman, Pita! Some people like steak; others are veggans; some pepole like rock music; others hip hop; some women like men; others like other women. In the end, we're all human beings who deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, despite our differences.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-07-26 15:48:23
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Thank you Miss E, your words are much appreciated:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-27 21:00:34
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Luci just know that I love you too kiddo. Keep smiling kiddo:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-27 21:01:09
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Thank you Faith. I'm a firm believer in treating people as you would treat yourself.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-27 21:02:39
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Thank you Meri:) Very well put, words to live by:)
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-07-27 21:03:30
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I have gay friends and think the world of them. I do believe in God but I don't think that gives anyone a right to gay bash or judge.
My mothers friend suspected her son was gay during his teens. She'd talk to my mother about what she was going to do. I'd over hear her and say "theres nothing for you to do but love him and accept him".
She ended up coming right out and saying "I know your gay and I still love you". They have a good relationship and it's her only child so it's a good thing she choose to take it as a part of him.
Speaking about the subject back in our day of school kids were tortured by others so I don't remember anyone admitting to being gay. My daughter tells me there is a lot of kids that are openly gay at the last public school she was in. It's not hidden as much now. This is a redneck badass want to be kind of school too so I'm guessing it's more accepted in youth today. It just shows how much times have changed in 20 years. I know there is a long way to go
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-08-05 09:51:37
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Wow, Pita, you said it. I suspected that my son was gay when he was about 3. I didn't share the idea with anyone. I just loved him as I did all my children. When he accepted himself and shared the information with me, I said the same thing as you. I've pretty much known and it makes no difference. His reply to me was "Well, why didn't you tell me??!!". I had to laugh!!
My son is very happy and has a strong circle of friends. He actually is working at the hospital where I trained and worked 12 years ago :) He plans to be a nurse like his mom :D I think that all the struggles he dealt with in his youth served to make him stronger. And, his compassion knows no bounds. I'm so proud of him!!
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Posted by journeywoman
on 2008-08-12 12:22:11
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Journeywoman so nice to hear from you:) In the beginning, middle and end we are all just people. I think its safe to say for the most part we all want the same. Someone to love and share our lives with. Thank you for sharing your story with me. We are just Mom's(among other things) that love our children.
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Posted by pitapie50
on 2008-08-13 22:50:13
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