Thoughts.com Blogs - Go ahead pull my finger

Go ahead pull my finger...my Dad loved that line.You never wanted to pull his finger his noxious fumes were like slow death.You could feel your nose hairs falling out...your eyes would water,you start to turn blue,a terrible thing to do to a helpless kid.And that wasnt even the worst part.The worst part was the anticipation of what was to come and then hearing the fart.Oh God was that gross...you heard it hit his underwear and I swear it traveled down his legs GROSS.I bet my Dad could sell his farts to the army for use in chemical warfare.The stench is God awfull...mix limberger cheese,rotten feet,rotting meat and beer farts give it a good stir in the digestive tract let it ferment and there you go.A smell so bad you wish you had never been born.

Farts in my house provided hours of fun and entertainment.You've heard the saying if you cant beat them join them?Mom decided she had no choice.Dads put her in the "dutch oven" come on ladies you know what that is.Nothing like getting your head held under the covers to smell midnight in the stockyard.Im surprized my Mother survived this.My Dad is one foul smelling guy.Throughout the years shes had some humdingers herself.

Mom likes to fart on people.One of the things in life she gets real enjoyment out of...the suffering of others.She has farted on every friend I've had were talking adult friend.She got my father in law good one time.Hes standing in the doorway and she says "Jack, come here I want to tell you something"She let a big one rip.He yells "Kirk do something about your wife"Dad just shruggs his shoulders.Hes been hit too he knows the score,he taught her well.

Both of my folks like to beef them out in public.Dad doesnt care he just lets them rip,I'm surprized he hasnt blown out his shorts yet.Moms uses a little more restraint.She looks first and if the coast is clear....ppppffffttt thar she blows.Shes been caught a few times by strangers,serves her right.

My brother can fart on cue.Just a little talent he has.He has been kicked out of a store for farting.He is his fathers son,his are rotten too.I feel for my sister in law and niece.

And moi? I'll say this to err is human to fart is divine.Sometimes you just got to let her rip.