urn:uuid:987cdc69-017f-8b56-fdb2-685a8eae5085 2009-11-23T17:21:37-05:00 pitapie50 urn:uuid:af98f596-8a3c-d053-b3a1-0e57d94ed72b 2009-11-23T17:21:37-05:00

WTH? [list]
Here is another List for you ...

1.) What is your favorite color?
Orange

2.) What are your two greatest character assets?

*1.) I'm a pretty good smoker


*2.) I'm a nice person. Im from Iowa. I'm really not from Iowa. Saw that said on cops once...have always wanted to use that line.


3.)What are your two most outstanding character defects?

*1.) No patience


*2.) I'm highly irritable

4.) Name the most repulsive actor of all time. John Holmes

5.) Can you blog and chew gum at the same time? Yuck, I don't chew gum. That would be a no.

6.) Have you ever eaten Limburger cheese? Yes, and I have lived to tell the tale. Must be eaten outside.

7.) What is your favorite restaraunt appetizer to order? Any of those hot spinach dipd.

8.) Do you get satisfaction from popping a ripe pimple? Yes, I am a woman. One of our lots in life. If a woman denies doing this......she's a liar.

9.) If you could name your own ice cream what kind would it be and what would you call it? Blueberry cheesecake.....Sandy's blue balls of love

10.) What is the highest number of hits you have gotten on any of your posts? I don't know

11.) Have you ever gotten a fruitcake for Christmas? No, but I have seen them.....gross.

12.) What is your favorite charitable organization?  Just Harvest. In a country so rich it's a shame that so many don't have even just the essentials.....basic needs food, shelter and water. This may not be the place for it....But, please support your local food bank.

13) If you could ask Barack Obama one question, what would it be? The job isn't as "sweet" as you thought, now is it?"

14.) What would you do if your date farted during dinner in your favorite restaraunt? Tim does this to me on a regular basis. So I do what I always do when this happens....smile and rate it

15.) What is your first reaction when someone with bad breath is in close proximity to you? Wincing in pain and wondering why can't they smell that?

16.) Have you ever become sexually aroused in a grocery store, and what caused it? Yes, Tims woody...

17.) Have you ever been offered money for sexual favors? Yes, I was married for 20 years.

18.) If you could, what would you change about the game of golf? That it can no longer be televised....its like watching paint dry......

19.) If you had the money to change one thing in your life what would it be? I'd love to live on Puget Sound again.....miss it.

20.) Do you think you could improve on the invention of the vibrator? Have you seen some of these things? Some of them look like aliens and have protuberences... I just learned about Flesh Light....more than I wanted to know.

21.) Which of all the fruits do you think is the sexiest? Kiwi's they look like fuzzy nut sac's

22.) Do "Pro-Ana" blogs make you want to vomit? No, I'd offer them a cookie and then anarchy would reign. I don't understand vomitting on purpose.

23.) When is the last time you updated your profile? I think it was this weekend.

25.) Have you ever owned momogrammed underwear? No....I know what my name is. I don't need a reminder.

26.) Who should be nominated Thoughts sexiest man/woman? i have never given it any thought. Sorry can't answer this :(

MAN:

WOMAN:

27.) What made you think this "List" would be worth your time? I like lists, I find it hard to think for myself....I'm a lemming

28.) Have you ever illegally urinated in a public place? Yes....who hasn't?

29.) Have you ever been caught masturbating? Sure....that was fun.

30.) Do you think Thoughts would be a better blog-site if it had a chatroom for members? No. Then we'd have some members getting into more trouble and starting more fights than ever. No chat rooms please....

31.) Have you ever written an erotic story on Thoughts? No. But I have read some where I have tried to figure out how they were able to put the same appendage in two places....some folks have a vivid imagination

32.) Do you think Barack Obama's testicles are implants? It's possible. Thats one of the first things to go on a husband....his testicles.

33.) How many stupid questions do you think I can type consecutively without stopping? I swear to gawd you hyper-active. You could possibley be unstoppable....that's scary.

34.) Name one thing that would make you stop blogging. If it became a chore....something expected.

35.) Name one person on Thoughts that you just cannot tolerate. That reminds me of a song....."my baby don't tolerate"....

36.) Which television info-mercial do you think is the most idiotic, and why? Chia pets....they have been forcing consumers to buy those for as long as I can remember.

37.) If there is one question I forgot to ask, what would it be? Larry all ready caught you...it was 24. Me....I'll stick with Larrys answer.

38.) Would you like to see more idiotic "lists" like this in the future? I love lists...give purpose and meaning to my life.

39.) Was this list too long, or too short? I don't know.....it's a list

40.) Would you be happy to never see another list again in your entire life? Sadly, I would miss them.

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urn:uuid:d72caac5-4379-7819-75e1-369628f3cfed 2009-11-23T08:59:56-05:00

I have a new guilty pleasure. Spectacle hosted by Elvis Costello. Being a musician myself some of my fondest memories have been jam sessions in my living room. Nothing like a little liquid libations or chemical inductions to bring out the muse in your fellow jammers. Throw in some pizza....you have the night's entertainment. God, those were good times. I'm surprised I have the brain cells left to remember them.

My fondest fellow picker was Eric Quackenbush....Equack for short. I'm going back 25 years or so. At the time Equack was in his mid 30's and looked like he was a teenager. Small in stature, hippie hair and a total burnout. At the time he was working as a delivery boy for a Chinese restaurant. I know not very ambitious for a grown man....I don't know if it was from all the Quaalude he ingested or the fact that he was a musician? We tend to take crappy jobs until  we get our big break...


Quick story about Equack. He had a great honor bestowed upon him by the cooks from the restaurant....Chop Chop Chinese [ name of restaurant] Now, Equack is not a person you ever want to take advice from. He was usually as dumb as a box of rocks. One of the dumbest things I ever heard him say. Now, this was to a mutual friend of ours that had just returned home from the Army.....with his new fiance. I can't recall her name. She was gorgeous. Equack looks her up and down after being introduced and says to our friend "I'd do her." He came close to getting his lights punched out.

So, anyhoo Equack is dining with the cooks and convinces them they are not making enough money. He plants little seeds of nonsense in their heads. After all why not take the advice of your burnout delivery boy? He tells them they need to demand a raise......

The next evening he reports to work....no cooks! Seems they took his "western" advice.....no raise no work! The cooks walked off the job. Equack had to turn in his apron....which gave him more time to hang out at my house.

Even though he was a burnout he turned me onto different genres of music. I learned to love David Bromberg, Guy Clark, Townes VanZandt and John Prine. I was still in my Heart, Hendrix and Zeppelin phase. He opened my eyes to songwriters. Which to this day is one of my biggest passions. As a rule I go out and support anyone that has a song to play. Some of the best music I have heard has been in small clubs with unknown artists. I'll listen to just about anything....even if it hurts my ears. My pain is most likely another persons food for the soul. I can live with that.

One night, a particularly chemically induced night. We wrote our first song together....Splatter proof butt pads. An ode to my Mother in law Miss craps her pants. Of course this was brought on by what had happened to me earlier in the day. A thing such as this just has to becomes a song. A lady crapping her pants in public....kind of brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it? It did mine. For I was the one that had to drive her home. There wasn't enough Lysol around to cover up that stench. I had to drive home with my face hanging out the window like a dog on a windy day. She deserved this ode. Damn that woman anyway....she so deserved it.

The song was good at the time. Too bad I can't remember the words. Though, I do remember laughing our asses off. Funny thing with age....your ass always grows back. Ah, to have the ass of youth again ~sigh~

The years have passed and I soon lost contact with my bud. So I did the next best thing.....taught my children to play. Thank God I didn't have to force them. They didn't grow up listening to lullaby's and nursery rhymes. I soothed my colic daughter with Cat Stevens and Etta James. When my son finally made his appearance he came out singing Moon Shadow. Of course us mothers always think our kids are the best....as it should be. But a four year old belting out "Did it take long to find me...I asked the faithful light...did it take long to find me...and are you gonna stay the night..I'm being followed by a moon shadow...moon shadow, moon shadow". It's fucking cute is what it is.

Now, when I am lucky enough to have my kids home. Jam sessions are back in business. My son wins the award of crappiest song ever....called ring tone.....

I'll leave you with with one of the worst verses ever....

There's a phone call from a bitch....lalalalalalala...ring tone.....lalalalalalala balls....

I often wonder if the hospital sent me home with the wrong baby?

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urn:uuid:dabd040f-a9ba-6f0b-d196-c15107ac51b1 2009-11-22T23:00:54-05:00

Men who stare at goats.....that sums up my EX-husband in a nutshell. He was fascinated with "remote viewing. And I was the unwilling participate that had to listen to this crap. He was a loyal listener of Art Bells coast to coast radio show. Man, what I would give to slap the snot out of that man.

My EX was a dope smoker of gross proportions. Just think of the Cone heads and their mass consumption. That was my bong totting, joint smoking EX. When he burped I swore I saw clouds of dope smoke coming out of his gob. Now, if you are a smoker....do what you gotta do. I'm not judging you if you light up. I'm speaking with much disdain about my EX.....cuz....I don't like him much. So he can just suck it. Lets move along shall we?

I'm watching the movie. Trying to get into it. Hell at $9.00 a ticket I better stay and watch the damn credits.(which I did) I keep hearing that idiots voice in my head going on about remote viewings, chupacabras, aliens, big foot, loch ness monster. You name it. If it was an anomaly or something so dumb and far fetched....he believed it. Brain damage. That man is loaded with it. And lucky me he  finds a "new" Friend on the radio giving him purpose and meaning to his life.

Good grief to take a walk in the woods with this man, to say the least was informative. I wont say adventure.....adventures can be fun. Crop circles. The damn man would be looking for signs of crop circles in the Forrest. See what I mean about brain damage? I'm pretty sure we aren't going to see CROP CIRCLES.....Mr brain damaged was convinced we would. We did happen to find pot plants hanging up in the trees drying out. Story for another time. I'll call that "free weed" maybe? Or Christmas in July? Ah the things you'll find in the Forrest's of Washington state.

You know? I wish that tick turd could remote view himself into orbit. Maybe if I'm lucky while he's buzzing around in space a chubacabra will bite him in the ass. That would be so sweet.
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urn:uuid:d3f78b0f-9a0b-63a2-674b-aba510967a1d 2009-11-19T11:30:37-05:00

As like many of you....I too have been suffering withdrawls....Talk about a monkey wrench being thrown in our direction(s)....That sucker hit me right square between the eyes and damn near broke my bifocals. I'm just happy to see we are all back in business. It's nice to be back home! Welcome home Pita!

It's 11:03, and I'll most likely waste an hour trying to drag what's in my brain.....down my arms....through my fingers to my keyboard. For some of you this is as easy as pie. For myself as my words are traveling down my arms to my finger tips....it all gets lost in translation. What started out one way became something totally different. I may have to change my name to Sybil....it's getting harder and harder to hold onto just one thought. If you have read this far. I already know what you are thinking. Wtf? Yeah, I know, I feel your sentiments....all I get out of this is a wtf as well.

I'm supposed to be doing lots of things today. I'm 45 with the maturity of a 12 year old. I do believe I will not be getting lots done today.....

It's like this, see? I had a little accident awhile back. The front of my Beetle looks like a squashed bug on a windshield. You know how accidents are said to happen closer to home? Big fat flipping lie in my case.....mine happened less than a mile from work. I was coming around an S curve....going down hill....hit a slick spot in the road and did a 360 going down hill.....hitting the hillside with all points of my car. When I came to a hault my car looked like it was wearing a grass skirt with mudd jammed up the tailpipe.......I am to be calling the auto body place to take her in for an estimate. The man aka as Tim is expecting me to do this. I believe I will act like I am 12 today and will play, eat candy and not do my homework....

Oh, I did manage to make a hair appointment for tomorrow. One accomplishment done...beauty appointment over beautification of car appointment....I know.....I am irresponsible and I suck. Do remember that I am 12....so guess what?  I'm gonna eat candy....how you like that? Oh.....and clean out the cat box. Otis should'nt have to suffer my irresponsibility.

As I have rambled on long enough. And everything has escaped me. Before I continue adding to my jackassary I bid you peace.......

Wait................................................

I do have one more thing to add...........


What do you get when you cross a cabbage patch doll and the Pillsbury Doughboy?
Scroll down please..........

























An ugly little bitch with a yeast infection.......

I did say i was feeling 12ish today:)

P.S. hehehe I wasted less than an hour. I going to go have a celebratory smoke!






















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urn:uuid:bd0b968c-ba44-c253-a77a-d61af082c767 2009-11-19T09:24:04-05:00

 Prelude,

You are one of the calming, peaceful voices of Thoughts. Always available to lend compassion to a friend in need. Your compassion says a lot about you and how you view the world. You are a voice of reason in troubled times. You my dear are one of my go to gals. For that I thank you. I have laughed with you, cried with you and have even sent you hugs via mental telepathy. You did receive those, yes? :) Good :)

There have been some bumps in the road and you always come out on top. You are truly an amazing woman.....I have to say it again......A truly amazing woman!

Please know that you are very special to a good lot of us. Though we all may live in different places....we are all just a stones throw away. As a member of your thoughts family I hope today finds you well and enveloped in love....and may your feet never touch the ground:)

Kiddo, I'd like to publicly thank your girls Carriethelight and Jaded for giving us the opportunity to show a sense of community. As Allthingsbuck would say "YOU GIRLS ROCK!" You girls truly do rock:) I try to never deviate from a master.

Prelude please be sure to check out Easytosay's blog.  A couple of little birds told me she has a message for you:) uh oh being that it's Friday down under already I'm sure she beat me to the punch:) Be on the lookout for Douglas today. I have been told he has some smiles coming your way:)

Please be sure to visit Ellie2008 and Shemelts tomorrow:)

P.S. Be on the lookout for the man in brown today:)



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urn:uuid:9533c999-585f-59c2-7e62-73b0a9f7dea2 2009-11-12T14:50:55-05:00

There are not answers for everything. As much as I would like to believe that there are. In my world today I can't find one....the one that I'm looking for anyway. SnoopsMama wrote a blog a few days ago  www.thoughts.com/SnoopsMama/blog/just-cant-figure-it-out-415740/  I made a few visits there. I wanted to offer up something of comfort to her. I had nothing. Flat, vacuous, numb and bland was all I had. I'm not a great one to put my feelings into words for the most part. Unless, it involves cussing or stupid ninnies I am at a loss. It took me a day to offer up my two cents. Little did I know I would be dealing with these feelings now.

I've had a cruddy few months. I am not going to go into the particulars. Other, than I have had a good run for awhile with little bullshit to contend with. As the saying goes when it rains it pours and prepare yourself for a shit storm. Being that my Dad was born under a black cloud. I always carry an umbrella and a can of bullshit propellent. This time they were ineffective. Such is life.

A girlfriend of mine had been down in the dumps due to her own problems. Family problems always a love/hate thing. Decorating for Christmas always seems to put a little spring in her step. I needed a little spring in my step too. So, what the hell? Maybe by putting out lights a little early will be irritating enough to her neighbors, that our smugness will be enough to lift our spirits. We were having a great time even if the staple gun was not cooperating. Whenever you find yourself having fun and goofing off the phone rings. She received a call I would never wish on my worst enemy....

While we were hanging lights and garland. Her middle sister was picking a fight with her eldest son, ran into her backyard and shot herself in the head. Give yourself a moment to absorb that. There's no way to sugar coat something of this magnitude. I am still trying to absorb. Her sister is alive and stable. Alive and stable. It's too soon to know her prognosis....way too soon.

Everything I thought I felt has gone out the window. This isn't a moral issue for me and in the grand scheme of things what I think has no bearing. None at all. This woman has been self destructing most of her life. The only straw I can grasp is maybe life got to be too much for her? I don't know. The reason lies within her.

Why do people do what they do? I haven't a clue. I don't buy the answer "because they can." Bullshit. Everything any of us do, has an effect on someone else. Like it or not we are all in this life together. Wrap your head around that and give it a thought before you take a walk on the morality highway.




 

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urn:uuid:9a351b8e-35a9-edbc-c160-08f34e83cdd1 2009-11-10T17:15:19-05:00

Learn 40 things about your friends and let them learn 40 things about you. Once you've been tagged, please complete.

1. Do you like blue cheese dressing? On salad no...on wings...yes please!

2. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Still do, unfortunately.

3. Do you own a gun? I did. It's funny the things you lose in a divorce. I suppose the ex thought I might shoot him.

4. What's your favorite drink at Starbucks? Mocha latte

5. What do you think of hot dogs? Love um'....come to think of it. Hotdogs are for dinner tonight!

6. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story and One magic Christmas.

7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee

8. Can you do push ups? Good lord no....that's a cruel thing to ask.

9. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? A silver charm bracelet.

10. Favorite hobbies? Gardening,baking and irritating Tim.

11. Do you have ADD? Nope

12. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? The older I get, the gassier I get. No warning's anymore....they shoot out on their own accord.

13. Middle name? Maria

14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? 1. vacumming 2. call Judy 3. When is the Prilosec going to kick in?

15. Three drinks I drink most often? Coffee, water, iced coffee

16. Current worry right now? None

17. Current hate(s) right now? None

18. Favorite place to be? Pickering Passage

19. How did you ring in the New Year? I don't remember.

20. Like to Travel? Sure

21. Name three people who will complete this? I haven't a clue.

22. Do you own slippers? Yes

23. What color shirt are you wearing? A navy hoody (love hoodies!)

24. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? Yes, I survived a 20 year marraige. I can survive almost anything.

25. What songs do you sing in the shower? None. I wouldn't want to make my neighbors vomit.

26. Favorite girl names? Heather (daughters name)

27. Favorite boy names? Austin (sons name)

28. What's in your pocket right now? Change, keys, reciepts and P's.

29. Last thing that made you laugh? Julie

30. Worst injury you've ever had? Having my knee roto rootered out.

31. Do you love where you live? I'm on the fence...more like a love/hate kind of thing.

32. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1

33. Who is a friend you have that you made on Thoughts? Judy amongst many others.

34. Does someone have a crush on you? Hell would freeze over first....that would be a NO

35. What is your favorite candy? The question is....What isn't my favorite candy? Candy rocks!

36. What hospital were you born in? US 225th Station Hospital in Münchweiler

37. What HS did you go to? Moon Valley. In Az schools are named after cactus or astronauts.

38 How many siblings do you have? 1 brother

39. Is your spouse your BEST friend? No, that's why I divorced the puke face.

40. Where do you imagine being in five years? 50 and still waiting for my A.A.R.P. discount!
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urn:uuid:72f62e68-f134-9530-ebd1-3d36f15da679 2009-10-31T21:35:34-04:00

I just don't have it in me to hear " Lady, you are too old and too fat to be trick or treating"....That I am here blogging out my menusha this evening. Another reason is Tim is hogging the t.v. World series game #3 and I'm no baseball fan. Or sports fan for that matter. If you are....enjoy....as for me...I'll be grumbling about not having control of the remote, to watch my own kind of crap.

Tim's folks got into town lastnight from the "Burg".....Pittsburgh that is. We spent today in Philly....the four of us are pretty wiped out. Maybe of maybe if I had a Segway...I'd try to get away with trick or treating. On second thought....that sounds like too much effort. Thank gawd my kids are grown is all I can say. My dogs are barking amongst other body parts.

Took the train into the city. Went to the Constitution center. Watched a program called freedom rings. Was pretty good though, being in the warm and dark made me sleepy. Walked through Reading terminal market. I hit way too many people with my purse. Not on purpose....its too big and too in the way. I spent most of my time apologising and excusing my purses behavior. We ate at the city diner. I have a new addiction....fried egg cheeseburgers. No cheeseburger will ever be the same again....unless theres a fried egg and bacon on top. Good stuff! I have the excess water retention to proove it. I can rest assured I'll be peeing like a Russian race horse tomorrow.

The train ride home was uneventfull. I am finding the older I get....the easier it is for me to fall asleep ANYWHERE. Not for lack of stimulation.....if it's warm, dark, overcast, or hums I am a goner. I'll be snoring and getting woken up with sharp objects being jabbed at me. I don't have a problem with my snoring. I can't hear it. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I suppose it's another story for those that bare witness to my log sawing. I have come to the conclusion when I'm done....I'm just that...done. I kind of like getting older....There's so much I don't have to worry about anymore....

Like....whether or not I snore on public transportation.





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urn:uuid:ccd1cb39-966b-a61a-6708-bae302321d0f 2009-10-26T08:51:26-04:00

I made up my mind.....I'm going in late today. Anxiety is already set in for my dealings with PENNDOT today. We all pick our battle's in life.....I have picked PENNDOT. Enough said on that prickly subject....

Tim's birthday has come and gone. Saturday I made him a three layer devil's food cake. I really should have bought three cake pans. I opted for one...since I had two others. BIG MISTAKE! The cake baked in the new pan came out evenly baked and slipped right out of the pan. The other two didn't fair as well. They came out in pieces....they looked like cake abortions....a home ec project gone horridly wrong. I managed to scoop them out. Frosting is pretty good glue.....the cake looked somewhat normal until it was cut into. Not too symmetrical looking on the inside. In the future if I decide to make a three layer cake....I will not be so cheap. I'll buy the damn pans.

Work is coming to a close. This week will be my final full week. From here on out 2 days a week. And here I am going in late....I need to grow up. I am so looking forward to collecting unemployment for the next 5 months....to have some paid time off, sleep in late if possible (the sleeping in part is up to my bladder) Looking forward to a few mini vacations. Hopefully going to see my kids in Washington state. And Vermont to clear my head....way too many cobwebs in there.

I hope today finds all of you well.....as well as can be expected under the adverse conditions. I look forward to catching up on you kids as well as having something myself to say during the next few months. You know how you have so much going on in your head? You feel you have so much to say. You sit yourself down to put it down. It escapes your mind before you even started. That's me I'm afraid.....the lights on, but nobody's home. Maybe, I should invest in mercury vapor lamps?



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urn:uuid:3a9f8be9-87f0-2d2f-6801-1ff800537360 2009-10-23T21:26:43-04:00

PENNDOT has pissed me off for the umpteenth time today....Here, let me rephrase that. PENNDOT( Pennsylvania department of transportation) and TIM have pissed me off for the umpteenth time today.... I had visions of ripping out my uterus and smacking them both upside the head. Who needs the Terminator or Xena princess warrior when I have a uterus to throw around? Noone does. A uterus past its prime is a force to be reckoned with...Anger, resentment and bitterness.

Dammit I'm so mad I can't continue. Damn that man and damn PENNDOT. May they all get a case of the trots....and NO toilet paper!



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urn:uuid:f701a553-5c71-252e-cef5-c4ca33f15a03 2009-09-28T21:01:24-04:00

Since I have found soooooo much extra time on my hands. And, since I have been avoiding preparing for inventory (don't ask). I have been popping onto Thought's at work. My little toady Danny and I sometimes get a good game of text twist going. That in itself is another story. I was once a good employee....right now I pretty much suck. You know what's been said about idle hands. My smoking and goofing off time has increased by giant leaps.

I'm reading Boots aka BootLady's challenge about Celia and Otis. I'm sure most of you have read this by now. If you haven't SHAME ON YOU! I'm snickering away...in my own little world. I get to the end where Celia steps on Otis's teeth. I let out a howl that could of woken up the dead. I'm snickering, gaffawing, snorting (that gal is funny!) The bell dinger goes off. In walks a customer. What nerve is all I can say. To disturb me....I was busy trying to leave a comment. By this time, I'm coughing, almost choking from laughing so hard. The guy is looking at me like I have horns coming out of my head. I wonder if part of it had to do with me having my legs crossed? Seriously, I was trying hard not to pee my pants. I'm happy to report that I was able to pull myself together...PHEW!

In the future I will have to be careful reading posts at work. This almost turned into a "depends moment". Thank you for the laugh girl:)



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urn:uuid:d5a03b2d-fe7a-9769-b37f-834b7431bd48 2009-09-25T09:59:58-04:00

I pass by a farm on my way to work. They have a little lean to shed out front. This summer they had set out baskets of tomatoes, peppers and assorted produce. Yesterday, that was all removed. In its place were hay bales and pumpkins. Fall is officially here, in the Lehigh valley.....makes me one happy camper. Firstly, since the heat has dissapated....driving by this particular farm isn't hard on the olfactory. We had a few days this summer where it smelled like midnight in the stockyards. The smell permiated within me. If my windows weren't up....my gag reflexes would cut in. Driving and trying not to toss ones cookies isn't an easy feat! My stomach is thankfull that there will be no more gaging for awhile.

Work has slowed down to a slow crawl. Really, there's not much point into going in. Though, the puke faces make me go anyway. I am soooooooo looking forward to unemployment and some free time! I have been itching to paint....this place needs its so bad. And, I have been missing so many of you. I am so behind, it's not even funny. Oh well. Soon enough I will be a commenting ninny:)

This morning feels like a bonus, I popped in at the right time. I only rolled my eyes once! Dare, I say this..... today felt like things are on their way to being normal. Was nice, thank you folk's.

There are some real gems here. This morning it wasn't like I had to look for a diamond in the rough....many gems, many, many...gems. Quite so many of you had a sparkle. I do believe things are looking up:) Sparkle away kids and out of traffic.

I'm off like a prom dress. Have a great day!

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urn:uuid:a15686f2-e9d9-e8d9-a404-002ff16095b5 2009-09-24T20:41:14-04:00

Somedays.....venturing into here is like an episode of the twilight zone. Truth really is stranger than fiction.....I'm beginning to wonder if some folk's have forgotten to take their lithium.
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urn:uuid:c6f23870-fbe5-9656-c358-ba0dc100899f 2009-09-21T09:43:14-04:00

I should be getting ready for work. But no. I'm here screwing around instead. I'll do as I always do and get ready at the last possible moment......playing beat the clock.

Not much to say. Not even sure why I'm putting this down now. I feel a day late, a dollar short and Lazy....with a capital L. I'm sure it's the hormonal crap. A uterus that's past it's prime. Listening to CNN and how unhappy the country is. Health care reform pros and cons....the jobless rate. And for fun apparantly the reccesion is over due to a retail sales going up in August. Bully, bully, bully. Put that in your sandwich and take a big bite. I should turn the t.v. off. The newscasters are still bitching and its giving me heartburn.

For those of you I know I hope you are doing well. Or as best as can be expected under these adverse conditions. As my old buddy Skip used to say "I got my feet going in the right direction." Truthfully, I don't think he ever did.....though he tried. For those of you I don't know....don't be a stranger. And don't let the latest bruhaha get you down. Some folk's just aren't happy unless they are peeing in another's cornflakes.

I leave you with this....... if we were all unitarians we'd pee on our own shoes.



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urn:uuid:253f6309-fb34-20c8-fb53-f6840bc6f9a0 2009-09-16T11:06:53-04:00

Who was the first idiot to think it's okay to come to work sick and spread the love? Whomever it was I'm sure they are six feet under by now. Where they should be. Rest in unbridled peace you snot face.....I don't care what your money woes are. I don't even care how expendable you don't think you are. If you are sneezing out loud. Oh you know those sneeze rs. Half their snot comes flying across the room right into your unprotected orifices. Nothing like a blast of snot in nuclear proportions from the dark side......that your fate has been sealed. The plans you made two months ago to get away for the weekend....GONE........"Snot Vader" has just sealed your fate. Better stock up on Sudafed, Niquil or whatever new OTC product is on the hit parade. If the Pharmacist told you to spread cow pies on your chest and sing "climb every mountain"  while balancing on your pinky toes ' and poking your family with a sharp stick would cure you....YOU'D DO IT.... Oh yes......YOU.....WOULD.....DO.....IT.....


Shit it's 2:00.....you feel it coming over you. That slight tickle at the back of your throat. Coffee loses its taste. If you are a smoker.....you know you are screwed. To light up now would only make matters worse. We that smoke aren't smart people. We light up. We already know what will happen. We are missing the smart gene. Hence we spend our money on cigarettes. We are paying to kill ourselves. And yet we do this.....Now for you non smokers.....before you get to feeling to high and mighty. SHUT UP.......Or I will hock a loogey upon you the size of France. Believe me I have enough sludge in my chest to do so.....I am not afraid to do it....The end result could kill me....to some a blessing......whatever.....


Folks my point is this. If you are sick stay home. Don't sneeze your infected snot on me and rain on my parade. The world will not come to an end if you don't come in. The thing is with work....no matter how much you get done today.....there will be more work tomorrow.....Its never ending.....The rest of us can pick up the slack until you return......healthy and no longer a threat to my mucus membranes....





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urn:uuid:bf22d1b4-ae2e-5dc7-b5b0-54fdce1704ca 2009-08-19T14:06:36-04:00

Ah....recap of the jackass and her jackassary.......

Here's with great hopes that she one day falls into an abyss of dung.....and comes out smelling like dung instead of smelling like rotted organic matter.......

I found out that she had stolen much more than I had originally been told. Much, much more. Over the course of a few months.....she was having quite a bonanza at everyone Else's expense....nice girl there, huh?

My question was- "Please, don't tell me she can collect unemployment?"

Here's the answer I got.....Yes. At that moment I thought I was going to throw up. Not only did she steal. She was not fired....only taken off of the schedule. And now is getting rewarded for being a thief. I don't know about any of you...this makes my blood boil and fills my head with murderess thoughts.

I was given an explanation as to the reasons why. Not that I agree....though with the idiocy of it all..I understand. This is not my business or my money....this I was told was a business decision....

AW stole more than enough to be prosecuted. In the end the expense, time and investigating was not a good business decision. Meaning it would cost more to go after her. There would be no monetary payback other than " We got her back." In the end she was not worth it to them. Biting words if you ask me...SHE was not worth it. How sad to not be worth it. I wonder if she knew this.... how this would effect her? If knowing this would make her stomach tied up in knots....a burning in her throat...if she would feel remorse, guilt or sadness? Most likely I will never know.

I last spoke to her on Thursday.  I was given the task of collecting her key....lucky me. Hearing all her grandiose b.s.....I had to fight the urge to strangle her. I should of just done it...of course I'd be sitting in a jail cell now. I've been wanting a vacation for awhile.....the ends kind of justify the means. Strangling a jackass.....surely there's no law to be broken there?

Forgive me for being sour.....she was talking about needing a tattoo????? Laying out in the sun and sitting on her ass. The more I heard the madder I got. Who is this person? I haven't a clue. I don't think I ever knew her. I'll just call her Sybil. She can take her pathological lying face and shove it where the sun don't shine.

And.......if she doesn't have a map to where the sun doesn't shine....I will be happy to draw her one.....



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urn:uuid:cf683378-1574-e6f8-7064-d76876961a97 2009-08-12T11:59:54-04:00

I have been supportive-both financially and mentally. I have been empathetic. I have shared joys and tribulations with this woman. Today I am left with one foot stuck in the mud and the other one shoved firmly up her ass....

The death of a friendship. That is to say if there really was a friendship. How much lying and "oh woe is me" can a person take? Apparently I can take a lot. Six years worth. I am either full of stupid or too nice for my own good. I'm bordering on stupid. Only stupid people take as much crap as I do.

The straw that broke the camels back......Stealing. I can't speak for anyone else. Stealing makes me cringe. People who steal make those of us that don't....PAY MORE. If I had my way. If you are caught stealing...you get your head cut off. Works for me. Goes with my free space America plan. Cause me grief....off with your head. How she thought she would ever get away with it, is beyond me. I dunno....maybe its her hobby?

The company we work for. Oops that would be that I work for. Has been hanging on by the skin of their teeth. We sell backyard vacations so to speak. In this economy most families aren't thinking about a white elephant sitting in their backyard. A pool is like kids and pets....they occasionally cause you problems....and can put a big dent in your wallet. You love them and everything. Though, some days you would really love to throw them back. Let someone else deal with them for a change. As I said we have been hanging on by a thread. Money is watched very closely....as far as overtime...general expenses and so on. I had worked for Ritchie Rich in the beginning now its Ebenezer Scrooge...Bah humbug and all that crap. Amazon Woman has been receiving her paycheck just like the rest of us. She felt like she needed a little something extra. Thirty years old and stealing money out of the till. How dumb is that? She lied her face off. Unbeknown st to her the customers were called whose receipts she fudged. Did she really think they wouldn't check? I suppose she did. By her actions she has put me into a situation. They haven't officially fired her. She was called yesterday morning and told she would be off the schedule for the next two weeks. As far as she knows that's all I know.....

I gave her plenty of opportunity to come clean. She chose not to. In the end I am no different than anyone else. She will lie, cheat and steal to get what she wants...doesn't matter who you are. In one way I am madder than hell and in the next sad that I allowed myself to be taken like this. She broke my trust. I got her the job when she couldn't get one on her own. With her finally working I was still helping her out financially. Not that she owed me anything. Though she needs to quit kidding herself. You can't treat people/friends/family like this and expect them to stay around. I am done helping her. I wish her well and in the next breath....I feel bad for her next employer....maybe they have a cure for "sticky fingers."

P.S. AW you are one big dummy......

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urn:uuid:b375c0e2-1a54-3bf9-9bb7-c5a94874920c 2009-07-30T08:35:05-04:00

My potassium levels must be at an all time low....I have had more charlie horses recently, than I can shake a stick at. This morning I had a new wake up call. Normally without fail...my bladder does all the talking. "Hey get up lady!!! I'm gonna blow!!!!" My usual waking taunt. To shake things up a bit....I suppose I have become "to smug" as of late. Mr Charlie Horse twisted my calf into a pretzle that made me sceam MAMA!!! Man oh man not a good way to wake up. Last time I had a charlie horse like this was when giving birth to my daughter...I damn near stood up in the stirrups....both calfs in twisted agony...made the labor pains go away...but really people...who needs that vision....

Tims in the "library" doing his morning reading.....I suppose I disturbed him with my belting out of every filthy word I knew and then some.....Not a good thing to hear while one is reading Dante's Inferno.....your worse half screaming out "frick a frack nasty bugger...dirty rotten somabitch...(this has been edited for the more tender hearted of you) 

You know when you are in so much pain you can't talk? Was one of those pains. Tims hollering "Are you okay?" All I'm thinking is man this hurts....thank you for your concern...but, would you please shut up. Go back to Dante and shut up. Here's where I'm pretty sure I have a screw loose. I had no problem belting out every cuss word known to man....My better half is concerned (or maybe afraid HE was the one in trouble...for gawd knows what) for my well being...and all I'm thinking is "shut up please"...Gotta be something wrong with my brain.

I don't know how I lucked out to have such a nice man....when I am such an ass.

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urn:uuid:0d70d38c-39a9-9a75-f1d8-78ed7e0c592e 2009-07-28T20:30:24-04:00

That boy is trying to kill me. It was 150 degrees with humidity at 200% today. Kill the damn ivy he says......More like trying to kill the peewaddin out of me....

If I was still living in Arizona this is the kind of weather we called the monsoon season. Usually its hot and dry as a popcorn fart until.....Late July and into the month of August. I have never been a lover of the month of August....it sucks gopher boogers in my book. Hot, sticky,sweltering, yucky damn month. My condolences if your day of birth is in this month. My mothers is....must be why she is such a pain in the ass...My dads is in February...I wonder what his problem is?...must be Napoleon syndrome...

Anyhoo....back to "the boy". I happen to have a daughter his age...27. That's an adult age right? I had a nine year old and 7 year old at that age....can't forget the so called husband at the time....make that a 29 year old child as well. If my daughter ever owns her own business and works a woman my age....like "the boy" does. I am soooooo kicking her ass. She won't even know what hit her. It will be like a flashback of the exorcist...that child's head will be doing 360's.....

Anyway....the boy says "Lets get rid of that ivy today"....in my mind that means the three of us...Me, Amazon woman and the boy....This little puke hosed us....The heat made Amazon woman and I look like a Picaso....a leg over here...an arm over there....somewhere in one of the bushes was someones ass....you get the picture. We looked like hell warmed over...bugs crawling on us...sweat in out eyeballs and the dreaded boob sweat. Looked like I had a pair of Mickey Mouse ears on my chest. Not a ride to the magic kingdom....that much I can tell you....

The fricking ivy patch was "mostly" dead as in NOT quite dead all the way yet. Have you ever tried to rake mostly dead ivy? No? You have no idea what the hell you are missing. I imagine its what a dentist might feel like trying to pull out a stubborn tooth...Those suckers aren't going to budge...I get a bright idea! The lawnmower! I was shooting rocks....dead mole carcasses...soda cans and mulch all over the damn place....when I was finished I was covered in a dust cloud...Amazon woman took cover...must of been the "pebble" I kicked up that hit her in the nose....She should of brought her helmet to work....

I am sooooo kicking that boys ass tomorrow.......They don't call me ice road mother trucker for nothing........

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urn:uuid:a532fe99-1003-9172-b361-bb06470de7dd 2009-07-27T21:49:32-04:00

Language barrier.....10 minutes before close....good gawd this is going to take forever...


Words that went through my head the other day....I'll explain....

An Asian couple and their kids came into the store. Apparently they were driving by..saw the pool and thought to themselves....PUBLIC POOL!. I hate to burst any ones bubble. The pool is kidney shaped holds 13,600 gallons of water and could be found in any backyard in North America....Maybe in Japan this is the size of a public pool? Dunno..never traveled there...I can only speculate.

"You have swimming pool?" The mother keeps asking and pointing towards the office. I am not the brightest bulb...but I was dumbfounded with her constant questioning of "swimming pool."

"Yeah, we have a pool...err...its outside." In the meantime the kids are ripping off their socks and shoes.

Finally Amazon Woman pipes in( I don't know what the hell took her so long. She could see I didn't get it) "WE SELL POOLS! THIS ONE IS FOR SHOW....NOT FOR SWIMMING....Why is it when there's a language barrier...We SPEAK LOUDER? It's so dumb and yet we do this. They aren't deaf for crissakes...

Through our yelling and pantomine....They begin to understand us. Thank gawd. It was 10 minutes to close. When its that's close to closing time, I don't give a diddly squat WHO YOU ARE. Just keep it on the move buster and we will get along just fine.

The kids were disappointed. There is a happy ending to this mishap. We were able to direct to a family swim center. Thank goodness the dad had his "D.P.S"....

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