| trying desperately to find something worth while |
|
I'm so depressed today and I'm not 100% sure why...
I know I'm frustrated with my job and being sick right now and my brother going over seas to war...but, it feels like theres more.
I hate my life right now and I dread getting up in the morning for work. I dread everything right now and I don't want to do anything, yet I want to do everything. I wish I had millions of dollars so I could just stay home for a week or two and do nothing.
I know it sounds crazy, but I don't wish to have a lot of money to buy things, I wish to have a lot of money so I can choose not to do anything.
I'm so bored all the time and then if there's something to do it seems like too much work...I'm weighed down by this depression and frustrated with life.
I feel like I have no one to talk to, but I could talk to my girlfriend I guess...I feel like I have no friends, but I do....I don't know why I feel like this. I'm so completely frustrated with everything and trying desperately to find something worth while to look forward to.
I do have plans to go visit my mom in a week, that will be fun, I am looking forward to that, but I need something even more than that. Something in my life that I go...oh when I accomplish this then...but, I don't have that...I have little goals and little fun and little everything. I feel so small in the world and so unimportant and insignificant...I'm hating this moment.
|