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trying desperately to find something worth while
I'm so depressed today and I'm not 100% sure why...

I know I'm frustrated with my job and being sick right now and my brother going over seas to war...but, it feels like theres more.

I hate my life right now and I dread getting up in the morning for work. I dread everything right now and I don't want to do anything, yet I want to do everything. I wish I had millions of dollars so I could just stay home for a week or two and do nothing.

I know it sounds crazy, but I don't wish to have a lot of money to buy things, I wish to have a lot of money so I can choose not to do anything.

I'm so bored all the time and then if there's something to do it seems like too much work...I'm weighed down by this depression and frustrated with life.

I feel like I have no one to talk to, but I could talk to my girlfriend I guess...I feel like I have no friends, but I do....I don't know why I feel like this. I'm so completely frustrated with everything and trying desperately to find something worth while to look forward to.

I do have plans to go visit my mom in a week, that will be fun, I am looking forward to that, but I need something even more than that. Something in my life that I go...oh when I accomplish this then...but, I don't have that...I have little goals and little fun and little everything. I feel so small in the world and so unimportant and insignificant...I'm hating this moment.
Posted by picasorock on 2008-01-17 00:21:23 | Rating: n/a | Views: 55


Comments


Posted by
ptopsdyahoocom
on 2008-01-17 12:15:13
 
Oh I know the feeling.....I can talk a long time about this. I never thought my life would ever get better. Sometimes a stranger can be your biggest blessing. When you're broke it's really hard to see the light. You feel trapped. I'm a single mom. I don't know if you have kids. But I did a few things that seemed to help.

Some of it was a mind thing. Focusing on the children and not wanting them to suffer kept me going on the bad days. I had to keep trying...trying to stay off welfare, trying to go to school, trying to get a decent job, trying to not get pregnant again. I felt like I was in this "giant suction"

The kids fueled me to keep sending out those resumes. They fueled me to widen my circle and get involved in some women's groups. Then I made a physical move (relocated) to another state away from what had always been.

The road wasn't easy, but we all FEEL BETTER.

I hope all this helps. Let me know. Please read my blog because I'll be talking alot about that stuff.
 
 

Posted by
picasorock
on 2008-01-20 16:02:06
 
Thanks...it does make me feel better to know someone else felt that way..and hopefully doesnt now lol. I'm glad you read my blog and made a comment..thank you. And I will read your blogs as well.
 
 


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picasorock
Pennsylvania, United States

Latest Posts
1.  Made in America (2008-02-01 08:03:08)  
2.  Another crapy day (2008-01-20 16:14:29)  
3.  trying desperately to find something worth while (2008-01-17 00:21:23)  
4.  worthless (2008-01-16 14:48:46)  
5.  Everything (2008-01-15 14:27:24)  

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