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Love, as people say, is more on giving than receiving. That is too, the possibility of giving a long lasting emotional scar. Not in terms of abusive scar, but more on deep loving feelings / thoughts that would not go away even as the (whatever) relations occurred, ended.
I am not encouraging, but did you ever feel at least once in your lifetime, that you have met a person you’ve fall head to toes with yet you positively understand that there could not be any possible future (near nor far) together as a couple? As your heart wants him, on the other hand your mind (thinking further) firmly said no no no! Or as the pivotal point in your lifetime arrived, you just realize that you really fall for that person but everything was too late already (or maybe too early)?
Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a person, whom has made an emotionally loving scar in your heart and mind, yet you want to keep it that way? With no intention to correct it in any way.
Well, my dear friend let me introduce you to shadow love. Mind you that this has nothing to do with immature love. In fact, shadow love is a love that you feel and nurtured as an adult, to someone that more or less feels the same about you, without the commitment (or anything like that).
Do not bother to entertain yourself to the idea that one day you and that person you have shadow love with will live happily ever after. To have the person as your shadow love means that it is for the best for both of you not to be a couple at all. Though maybe you both have made some definite scar to each other, but honey believe me, the person was not meant to be yours. Period!
Shadow love means having someone’s profound emotion for you (more or less vice versa) along with the physical appearance, and whatever ‘story’ you once had together, locked somewhere in the deep corner of your wide range heart. Just keep it there. Do not ever reach for it again. Do not want it by any means to be a part of your life today. Him or her, physically and emotionally, belongs to your past.
On the other hand, better not to leave your shadow behind because you will need your shadow to tell you where you stand today. Through your shadow love, you can judge your loving caring position of your current situation. Twelve o’clock means that you are deeply in love with the one you have now that no signs of that particular shadow occurred. 11am and one o’clock will do fine too since they show only a small amount of shadow, good enough to balance you from not getting too burn out by your existing love. 2-3 pm as well as 9-10 am means that you have not completely overcome your feelings to your shadow love, though there’s a progress. But watch out for the shadows at 4pm until dark, the shadow that haunts your every move, shading you from the real love that might have come your way.
Tell the time now and start looking forward. Will you be able to be faithful and care for the one you are in love with now more than the willingness you have toward your shadow love? Can you see yourself growing old together with the one you are with today more than the one you keep only in the back of your mind? Also, whether you are willing to settle down and raise a family with the one you share your life now in real life more than the fantasy you’ve built somewhere over the clouds with that shadow love?
Deep cutting emotionally loving scar might never heal. However the memory of it should give you the strength to carry on. So get up and get ready because lunch hour is just around the corner.
December 2004
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Posted by peppitas007 on 2007-12-30 00:50:32 | Rating: | Views: 65
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Nice entry. It reminded me of my first love, the sweetest yet fate had decided that we should be apart....I love my husband now but, my first love still resides securely deep in my heart. Don't worry, my love shadow is no more at 4.00 PM forward!! Ha....Terima kasih Peppita
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Posted by Gwatlan
on 2007-12-30 01:49:31
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