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Stardate 12-24-07
Dear Junior,
A grey morning sky leaks snow in light, fluffy flakes that resemble the down used to stuff pillows and winter jackets. Perhaps the angels above are celebrating Christmas Eve with a pillow fight. Although tonight is the traditional time we usually get together with your mom and dad to open presents and dine together this year we celebrated Christmas yesterday. Originally we planned it this way because your mom was still flying freight for UPS (United Parcel Service) and needed to get back to Home Base by early this morning to move more holiday freight. Since it wasn’t an easy jaunt across town as in past years we decided on gathering yesterday.
Soon after your parents arrived at the Mansion we discovered that we no longer had to worry about the time constraint since your mom had taken a leave of absence from flying. She discovered that flying required all her attention as a single pilot flying one of the largest planes, a Metro-liner, and recently she found her thoughts preoccupied with you. Already she worried about your safety. What if there were a problem and there was a rough landing, how could she bear endangering her child? During the day, including those hours in the air, your mom thought of you, your future, your education, what it would be like to hold you in her arms and see you take your first steps and all those other firsts. What if something should happen to her while flying during this treacherous time of ice and snow? So she decided to take a leave of absence and consider her options. Amazing isn’t it, how quickly those around you begin to worry, and fuss, and ponder the welfare of the one they love and cherish… you. As you grow and mature and begin to expand your life beyond the realm of family it will be annoying and even embarrassing at times to be loved so completely. It can feel like being suffocated, not trusted, or restricted to forever being viewed as a “helpless baby.” I understand that, we all have gone through those emotions as we grow and mature. However, it is also a wonderful, secure feeling to be encompassed in a love that will always be there just as it has always been there… even before you have breathed your first breath, let lose your first cry, or grasped the first finger of a loved one that held you. Believe me we WANT you to get out there and take on the world and reach for undiscovered countries, it’s just so damn hard to let go of someone you’ve loved and cherished from Day One.
The presents under the tree yesterday were pretty scarce. Although we all can think of things we want and desire there comes a time when those things become secondary to the real, meaningful gifts of family and time spent together. We are all at a juncture in our lives where the amassing of more possessions is viewed at as more of a burden than a gift. Mem and I are living in two houses and neither seem like a home without the presence of each other. Currently I live in the Mansion during the week then go back home to be with Mem during the weekend. We originally planned to sell our home and buy one where I work but our home has not sold. With the prospect of moving still looming in the not too distant future we really don’t want more stuff. For Christmas this year Mem and I gave each other the gift of time, going away to spend three days in December at a bed and breakfast, The Inn at Maple Crossing in Mento, MN. It was the BEST gift two people living apart could give each other. Your mom and dad are hoping to buy a mobile home soon and do some traveling before settling in Arizona. They are struggling to figure out what to store in the mobile home so they sure don’t need more stuff, no matter how cool it is. Your Aunt is graduating from college in May, planning on traveling to Japan for a month or two for a visit with her only cuz and then moving home until her application to the Peace Corps is accepted and then she’ll spend two years overseas. She knows there is little room to store more stuff during this time or travel and uncertainty. Your Great Aunt J, gosh that makes her sound SO old and she isn’t, lives in a modest apartment and is also at the point of looking to reduce the amount of possessions not add to them.
As a result of all these situations we decided on something different for this year’s Holiday gift exchange. Everyone bought and wrapped one gift worth about $25 but did not specify who it was for. Then we took turns opening a gift from someone else OR taking the option to “steal” a gift from someone else that had already been opened. This gift exchange was J’s idea. Although some of us were a bit skeptical of how it would work out it actually ended up with everyone getting just what they wanted and only your dad and I exchanged gifts. The really odd thing was that we all bought gifts with someone else in mind and it was THAT person who ended up opening and keeping the “perfect gift” meant for them. For instance Mem bought a really cool mirror with wrought iron-work that had been hand-welded and included some coat hooks along the bottom. When she bought it your mother came to mind as Mem thought it would work great in a small apartment or even the mobile home. Your mom opened it and loved it. I bought a small rice cooker and vegetable steamer and thought your Aunt could use it to prepare a meal in the morning and have it ready when she comes home from class or work. Plus she likes stir-fry but doesn’t like to make the rice and have a bunch left over. She opened it and loved it. Great Aunt J bought a book Defining Moments in Music:1890-2006 general editor Sean Egan and thought of Mem because of how much she loves music. Mem opened it and pored over the book. I ended up with a basket of various Italian foodstuffs that your mom bought and since I love to cook it was perfect for me! Everyone ended up with one gift they really liked and would use.
Although you weren’t born, for ME this was your first Christmas with your family. Mem and I wrapped the little wrist rattle we bought at Target for you and gave it to your mom and dad. This led to a discussion on how your presence next Christmas would change the Holidays. We envisioned more gifts under the tree and anticipated the year when you could open your own gifts and we could see the reaction in your face and eyes. N was anticipating bringing Santa back into Christmas through you while Mem and I thought about how we would anticipate when you could help us decorate the tree. Your Aunt and mom chimed in, “And there would be a new audience for all the ornament stories mom has.” Many of the ornaments on our tree are Mem’s and she does have some wonderful tales behind most of the ornaments. To this day my favorite part or decorating the tree is hearing Mem’s “ornament stories,” I never tire of them and hope you get to enjoy them as well.
After a delicious meal of ham, potatoes, carrots, lefse, salad, and cheese/garlic bread we cleaned up the kitchen and sat around to discuss your future. Your mom and dad shared how they would like to home-school you so they would be free to travel with you in their not yet bought RV. This led to a discussion of the current educational system, which we have lamented over for years, but this time it was more personal as we pondered how to provide the best education for you. Yeah, I know, not even born yet and we have you in school. Remember dear one, I said how to provide the best education for you. For our family we believe that an education begins with life’s first breath and continues until either the last pulse subsides or a person makes a personal choice to stop learning (which for me is the point a person stops living). We all agreed that you should have the choice to participate in whatever activities you chose as long as you are willing to follow through with it for the duration of the lessons. For instance if you want to learn ballet, hey guys can do ballet too… I was in the Nutcracker two years in a row!... you should stick with it until that round of lessons is over. Something tells me your mom and dad will want you to have the experience of learning how to fly, since both of them are pilots.
After awhile your mom and Aunt went off by themselves to have a quiet chat about you and other things. I think that conversation brought them closer together than they have ever been. N said latter that wherever they end up building a home in Arizona your mom wants horses so you can learn to ride. She also pointed out to your mom and dad that they should consider having two children so you would not be an only child. Your Aunt and Uncle B are only 18 months apart and have a very tight, special relationship that I think sometimes your mom was a tad jealous of since she was the elder sis by nearly six years. Imagine that, you are not even born yet and there is talk of giving you a brother or sister. Better enjoy the status of an only child while you can! Of course we all know that things can change and any number of events can affect having children.
Soon, the hour approached midnight and despite pleas to stay the night your mom and dad insisted they needed to get back home and tend to the “boys,” their kitties Piper and Cessna. As they headed out and down the road I sent prayers of God-speed and safe journey for all three of my loved ones. Already you were there with us as we celebrated your “first Christmas.”
It’s time to end for now and have some breakfast. Until next time dear grandchild… be well, play hard, laugh often and know you are Loved.
Pep
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Posted by pep on 2008-01-02 17:50:33 | Rating: | Views: 55
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