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I forgot an important occurence from Saturday night. I was in the middle of the dance floor, dancing against super hot Superman, when a guy smiled at me from a few feet away, beneath his hat. At first, I thought he was hitting on me, and then I realized that I knew him. My heart stopped, time froze, and any happiness I was feeling at that time was sucked away. It was one of my ex boyfriend's close friends. The realization that this guy was definately going to tell the ex about seeing me, and the fact that I was in a club, dancing with a random guy, having a great time. Good? He'll know that I'm happy? All of a sudden, I remembered what I was running from. I didn't want to dance with the guy anymore. I didn't want to be anonymous in a crowd. I wanted to be with him, happy again.
I was unable to push the thoughts away, and I grabbed L and pulled her to the bathroom, where I bawled my eyes out for a good five minutes. The ex held me on a pedastal, and I was a bit ashamed to have fallen from it. He always thought that I was above drinking, above partying, and above grinding with guys at a club. He thought I was the hardest working, smartest, and most driven person alive. I know it's normal to take breaks, and he would (maybe?) be happy to hear about me being with other guys. Happy for me to move on? That thought breaks my heart just a little bit more. I wish this would get easier.
Other ex-haunting - the other serious boyfriend I had when I was 14-16, has turned into a stalker. I escaped him by moving across the continent, yet he still stalks me through the girls I used to babysit for. I just found out that despite the restraining order barring him from the eldest daughter's high school, he somehow got hired to teach the kids hip hop. She told her parents, who called the school, who had him fired. How does he keep turning up? It's been three years, I refuse to speak to him, yet he will not relent.
I need to move on from these guys. As suggested in Sex and the City, there should be an island for all of our exes to be exiled to, so that we never have to see or hear from them again. I need to find the zip code for that island... this continent is far too small!
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Posted by peace_seeker on 2008-02-26 00:21:50 | Rating: | Views: 54
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Gosh, what a night huh? It will take a couple more moments like this but, it is all of the process of getting over the boy! It is going to be hard but in the end you will be thankful! I mean seriously life is way to short to not have fun and dance the night away. If it is meant to be then it will happen. I know that is a normal quote but it can sometimes help you through the rough times! So don't worry abot the ex just have fun. Easier said then done but, there is no darn island and if there was I am sure they would find a way to haunt us! hahah
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Posted by Renee0707
on 2008-02-26 00:34:43
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