The other day, my mother nonchalantly asked me "Do you ever wonder how he's doing?"  Of course I do!  There isn't a day that goes by without me thinking of him.  Whether it's walking past his house, seeing a friend of his, certain songs, or just my own wandering thoughts - it's not really obsessing, just my mind's natural tendency to think about the person I love.  I often catch myself thinking that he was the love of my life.  I was so happy when we were together.

The amygdala is a structure in your brain that's responsible for making wise life decisions as well as for remembering emotionally charged events.  Life with him was a rollercoaster ride, full of emotional ups and downs.  I don't want to forget everything with him, but it would be nice to no longer be haunted by my lost love.  I feel like I'm walking wounded with this unseen burden.

I have to remember the reason we aren't together.  As happy as I was with him, the times together were rare.  He refused to make me a part of his everyday life, and it was a struggle to have time with him.  All I remember are the times we were together.  Being held in his arms, safe and loved.  Reality was, those times were few.  I would never be a priority for him.  I deserve to be appreciated and it damaged my self esteem to be with him for so long.

I'm a strong person, and I'm getting rid of my poison.  Loving him is an addiction, he is my drug.  There isn't any rehab for this one...