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I hate being upset. It's not an active emotion, or a thought, but an overall upset. My stomach has butterflies, I feel unfocused, I can't think straight again.
I can't stop thinking about him. He hasn't changed at all, just his face seems a little bit older. There was a long blonde hair on his sweater. I can't help but wonder if he's been with anyone. I can't help but mentally sort through all of the blonde girls who he's friends with, and think about if they would hook up. Painful thought.
It seems so long ago that we were together. So long ago when he defined my life. I would do anything for him. Anything except being friends with him. I can't do it. When I look at him, I see the man I love. I can't bear to be near him knowing that we can't be together. I can't bear to witness his life without me.
How does a broken heart heal? How long can it possibly take? When will it stop hurting? I'm tingly everywhere, craving his touch. I miss cuddling with him. I felt so safe, so loved in his arms.
I wasn't there enough.
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Posted by peace_seeker on 2008-04-02 19:59:00 | Rating: | Views: 99
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