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And then fear sets in...

A friend of mine gave me a warning I should have thought of myself!

Breaking up with his last girlfriend set him into his depression / drug use. Ugh that sound bad. Anyways, if thats what happened last time, what is going to make this time different?

As much as I want to be there for him, I don't want to be the ONLY person there, because I'm leaving come September, regardless of things between us. I don't want to end up back in my first relationship again.

He REALLY liked me, and I liked him. I mainly liked the attention. To him, I was everything. To me, he was a good time, but nothing serious. I felt guilty breaking up with him (not sad) and was very happy to have him out of my life. Unfortunately, it wasn't as easy as just asking him to exit my life. He kept popping back up, quite obsessively. It got so bad that now, four years later, there are restraining orders and yet he still keeps trying.

I really hope that this guy would not turn out that way. I actually do really like him. But it scares me how much he likes me so quickly. He wants to be with me all the time - which is great. I want to be with him too, but that's ALL he wants to do. He has no outside hobbies except for work, and he barely hangs out with his friends. Plus all this talk of drugs really worries me. I don't think he's doing them now, although I could be wrong. I do know that he drinks fairly heavily (yet occasionally...) to relieve stress.

He just doesn't have healthy outlets for emotions or stress. This is probably bad. I should probably get out of this while I can - I mean looking at it from a purely objective point of view, this is a bad idea. It seems highly likely that he will become somewhat obsessive, and that he will fall back into his depression / drug habits when I leave. It isn't necessarily my fault - just that he doesn't have normal coping skills.

I know that I do NOT need that sort of stress in my life. I'm barely recovered from my last trainwreck relationship. Yes, this guy treats me so well. But I feel like it's impossible for two people to have a relationship if both people do not have healthy relationships with themselves. I don't want to be his only support.

I don't want to break things off with him like this - he has done nothing wrong and I really like him. But I do need to talk to him. It isn't about the drugs or his past. It's about now - I need to make sure that before anything gets more serious, both of us know what we are getting into.

I just need to tell him that I'm worried about how quickly our relationship is going, and I'm wondering if it is a good idea. I like him so much, but I'm very worried that he isn't ready for a relationship. I worry that if I end up being his only support, when I leave he will hit rock bottom again. I feel like these are valid concerns. If he is strong enough to be okay on his own, and okay in a relationship, he will be able to handle such a discussion.

Eeks, wish me luck! For my own and his mental healthy and sanity, I can NOT chicken out, I need to talk to him and do the right thing!