“You have come a long way in a short period of time.”

This was said to me by my therapist today in our last session. When I first started going a couple months ago I was a wreck. I wasn’t talking to God, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go into ministry, I had just stopped leading the young adults group, Pastor Todd just left, I was about to lose my job, and my ordination interview was coming up very soon. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go through with it.

You know what the first suggestion my therapist gave me was?

“You should probably start talking to God again.”

She’s not a “Christian Therapist,” but she is a Therapist who is a Christian. Good times. I knew that not talking to God wasn’t getting me anywhere. So…I sucked it up and started praying again. I had stopped because I was certain I knew what He was going to say. And I really didn’t want to hear it.

When I started listening again…I heard something completely different.

“Just let me hold you.”

I didn’t hear the condemnation I expected. I didn’t feel the conviction I was sure was coming. But I did feel His love…and His total acceptance of me as His child.

God has opened my eyes to the grandiosity of His grace…and how it is able to reach all people at all times. He has also opened my eyes to even more hurt which has been caused by the church and its well-meaning tradition. I am beginning to think this is where He is leading me in ministry. I have grown up and seen how the church can be a life-giving, vibrant body of Christ and also a vindictive, judgmental weapon of hell. Sound a little harsh? Well…you can read my next post and decide for yourself.