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| Easterners/Californians vs Midwesterners |
Humor just Humor
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross in states such as Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska, the Tourism Councils in those states have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwesterner's mind, the following list will be handed out to each person as the enter the states.
1 That slope-shoulders farm body did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym
2 It's called a "gravel road". No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it of get out of the way.
3 We all started hunting and fishing when we were about seven. Yeah, we shot Bambi, we got over it
4 Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped -- by our women
5 Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us when a Flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for - "bait"
6 Pull your pants up. You look like and Idiot
7 If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to you ear
8 That's right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can but a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink
9 No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar
10 You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11 So, you have a sixty thousand car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million dollar combines that we use four weeks a year
12 let's get it straight. We have one stop light in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow
13 Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute
14 Yeah, we eat catfish, carp too - and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop
15 They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 69 goes tow ways. State road 24 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly
16 The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church
17 So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
18 Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards. It spooks the fish.
19 That Officer, be it Conservation Officer, sheriff deputy, city police, or highway patrol that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot - his name is "SIR"
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Posted by parott07 on 2009-10-07 15:41:29 | Rating: | Views: 35
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