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| the reasons for aloe |
as promised, an addendum detailing implied audacity...put in first person as to avoid a judgemental slant. (why, i don't know)
i am studying her skin, pitying the pain she must be in. A general appearance of lavander char with varying degrees of scarlet. in a few days it will swell into fluid-filled blisters. any contact with clothing or bed sheets will be unbearable. i hand her the sticky gel, encourage liberal self-application, upon my departure (please spare me the witness), and orate the scorched addendum...as follows...
number one: DO NOT FORCE-FEED MY CHILDREN. they are quite capable of not only fixing their own plates, but also have a canny ability to sense fullness (wherein you seem to lack this sensation). it is not only damaging to their gastric systems, but also rude to presume that teenagers should be made to sit at the heaping plates of food you dole out until they've finished every last bite; ready to puke. You are preparing a banquet for either bulimia or anorexia with this practice. they are not malnourished while in my care and, unless you are planning on eating them, do not need to be plumped for the feast.
number two: (disclaimer- any gentlemen who have stumbled on this post may want to skip this second bit) DO NOT FORCE OBJECTS INTO MY FEMALE CHILDREN'S ORIFACES: this goes the way of the food, but is absurd enough for its own category. for instance, when a fourteen year old girl does not want to insert a tampon, and you-on your BIG vacation, decide that if she doesn't it will ruin your swimming itinerary; make the sacrifice and refrain from ordering and/or performing the task at hand. if my little girls do not like the sensation or experience of vaginal penetration as of yet (sorry), let's not expedite that process, K? makes sense, huh? As well, resist your common urge to command that they swallow Motrin, Benadryl and the like. Yes, you can write "R.N." after your name, now, and will (regrettably) soon be mrs. "their last name"/rn, but this does not their prescriber make you. besides, your scope of your practice ends when you leave the hospital halls, do all of your misdiagnosing there, where you have malpractice insurance. (you did buy some, i hope?)
number three: STOP "DESCENTING" MY KIDS. i understand that you do not like the smell of cigarette smoke, though you yourself are a "puffer", just not in front of your parents (???) Come on, be a REAL hypocrite. do it right. if you're gonna hide it, hide it from everyone. and don't make my kids feel like they arrive in your pristine home transferring some kind of foreign toxin for which they require decontamination showers. i have not once heard them say that they were permitted to even begin their weekends in any way other than a full scrubbing proceeded by...
number four: PUTTING MY KIDS IN YOUR CLOTHES, and obsessive hoarding/protecting of said articles. if they lose so much as a sock from a pair of your beloved purchases, they are made to BUY the item(s) back for you. or if it's warm on friday when i send them to their dad's, and by monday morning for school, you send them coat-less when it's 50 degrees. not only this, but, their wardrobe is targeted for removal each time you threaten to "leave their father." Seeing as they aren't "allowed" to bring any of their clothes from home, lest they intermingle with your elite collection, thereby cross-contaminating the virgin group, i wonder (read wish) if you did one day make a haste exit, would you be kind enough to permit them the clothes on their backs...or would they have to change into the set from home that is kept in a sealed garbage bag out back?
*btw, i think it's cute how you match all their outfits(undergarments included) to color coordinate with yours.
i used to do that too, when i played with my Barbie dolls.
you may find, however, that when you have children more
than 10% of the month, this task will elude you,
compared to the tasks at hand, and will appear as ridiculous
to you as it actually is.
finally, number five (and i will be broad and generalized here): DON'T PUNISH/DIRECT MY CHILDREN, not for whatever it is that you don't like about me, but refuse to confront. not for their grades, nor for being late, not for forgetting to bring something back. if you take on all of these things, you'll be signing up for the confrontation you despise. STOP, right now, poking them in the heads with your pointed acrylic finger and asking them "Do you understand me?"...do you understand ME?
One day, when you have your OWN children, i believe that you will! then, we can laugh at all the times you thought you were being a good step-mother, but were actually stepping on my motherhood, badly.
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Posted by paperlily on 2008-08-11 20:24:23 | Rating: | Views: 91
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