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 diagnosis -Scribbles 27-
Mallory pulled at the thickly woven satin harness and clicked the chrome hasp into its familiar female counterpart, catching the fleshy part of her palm between the metal intercourse. An ampule of physical pain was instantly added to what felt like a quick-forced bolus of emotions being pushed intravenously through her sickly system. Her distress, displayed in the ever-growing tree trunk forming between her brows, had increased to asthmatic fury by the time Nate had cozily nestled his tall frame into the driver's side seat, releasing an irritating, satisfied sigh. 

The day spent with Mallory's family, announcing their engagement, was made longer by the fact that she had ordered, indeed demanded, his picture-perfect behavior though he seemed to have dealt with it all in typical masculine paralysis; on the lay-z-boy, with a beer, watching the ball game. How was it that he was left uninfected by the contagion that she found spread so rampant in her gene pool?

Mother, with her annoying preening habits, always picking something off sweaters and adjusting tie knots. What did she know of fashion anyway? And why was she always trying to "fix" things anyhow? There were old wounds, deep wounds, caused by her hands, for which she was still trying to apply salve. It seemed like each time they would begin to heal she would pick the scab just so she could make them feel better again.

 And her father, a perpetually disaffectionate man, drank too much of the clan's corn whiskey like all the other men in the family. While the women, severely frail in education, had no greater goal in life than to serve their food and raise their children. She wondered how she survived, and eventually escaped, their Appalachian tendencies.

Nate, noting her discomfort, offered his hand into hers, "Come on, Mall. They aren't THAT bad" he said. By
now they were far enough away from the cabin where she was both born and raised, so that her breathing
pattern started to stabilize.
"I just can't believe I finally let you meet them" she stumbled slowly across the words.
"Let me?" he countered, "you act as if they're some kind of circus freaks."

Mallory retrieved the photograph, the only one she had of her anomalous family, from an envelope her
mother had slipped into her coat pocket on the way out the door. She gazed at the disheveled trio who
stood, oddly proud, before the dilapidated shack.

"You know, Mallory, your mom gave me an envelope too" he admitted.
"H-m" she breathed, distracted. Still peering at the photo. Her mom's dry, ratted hair. Her father's dirty
overalls.
"Honey, did you hear me?" said Nate.
"Yeah, yeah, an envelope. What is it, another picture?" she guessed, sneering at the holes in her mom's
ragged dress.
No, Mall, it's not a picture. Though it might draw a different one than the one you have." he offered.
"W-hat, Nate? what are you talking about, now?"

He broke the seal on the yellow, padded-envelope and extracted a thick ---- stack of money.
"Your parents thought it was time for you to have this" said Nate. "They said they worked their whole lives
to acquire it."

By the time she had finished calculating the cash, more than $75,000, the couple had safely returned to
their upscale townhouse apartment. Mallory again picked up the portrait and indeed saw a very different
picture.

The picture became an X-ray.
    Posted by paperlily on 2009-05-12 03:35:03 | Rating: | Views: 87
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odd spacing?
Posted by  paperlily  on 2009-05-12 03:43:23 
  
I really liked this, especially the denoument. The first paragraph read a little like it was written with Rogets Thesaurus in one hand, but I loved some of the imagery - asthmatic fury and the tree-trunk between the eyebrows.

Look forward to seeing more of your Scribbles Challenge responses.
Posted by  Perigo_Minas  on 2009-05-12 04:42:12 
  
This was a great read, paperlily! And like Perigo I look forward to more of your challenge offerings. =) - Bia.
Posted by  Blossom  on 2009-05-12 05:55:32 
  
Wow
Posted by  lynbarnes  on 2009-05-12 10:04:45 
  
hmmm....
you just gave me an idea with this; the photograph also reflects the viewer. makes me wonder if the photograph can also change the viewer - like you say with the X-ray - a sort of a before and after.
you're mark on a story is wonderful, lily.
cheers!
:)
Posted by  badlydrawnstickman  on 2009-05-12 10:20:28 
  
Interesting imagery in the first paragraph. The passion you have for writing flows in the words you choose. An like Stickman, I like the way you show how any view is subjective...
Posted by  greunie  on 2009-05-12 13:13:28 
  
Top Notch write....

Excellent...

E
Posted by  Evetspordlaw  on 2009-05-12 15:01:10 
  
Wow. Still. Again.

Funny how sometimes the problems we have with others are just that--our problems.
Posted by  lynbarnes  on 2009-05-12 19:44:01 
  
A mirror into our souls? very nice lily, as always.
Posted by  circe  on 2009-05-12 23:48:24 
  
yes
and a radiogram
exposing our internals

thank you, as always.
Posted by  paperlily  on 2009-05-14 00:12:00 
  
lynb,
accurate. like wizz down own leg. bad little analogy.
Posted by  paperlily  on 2009-05-14 00:15:50 
  
E,
there must not be very many notches on that belt of yours!
*false sense of humility showing*
thank you
Posted by  paperlily  on 2009-05-14 00:18:36 
  
greunie
you have the same ardent appetite...i have read you!
thanks for your comment.
Posted by  paperlily  on 2009-05-14 00:25:50 
  
ok, not doing this individual thingy anymore- indiscriminate lump follows:

stick, get to work with that idea! expound. tee hee
lynb, wow...another wow.
blossom/Bia, not just another pretty face :)


perigo, had to look up *denouement* (since my reference books are not kept on hand.) HaHa! My verbiage does tend to lean towards the shoulders of Roget. I'll attempt to divert my happy, elated, rapturous, ecstatic, paradisaical, joyous, enraptured plethora of synonyms from frolicking in such adjacently close, neighboring proximity to one another...


...next time ;)

*you won't begrudge me a little sarcasm? Un peur?
Posted by  paperlily  on 2009-05-14 00:50:49 
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paperlily
subterrania, Ohio, United States

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