Last night I went to my daughter's house as she was having an early Hallow'een party for PJ as his Daddy is not going to be here at the weekend. The little man had a wonderful time, not really understanding the purpose, just throughly enjoying 'my party Ganny.' It was only when I came away I thought about how much I had enjoyed myself, surrounded by my children and grandchildren, sitting round the table, discussing all the events going on and the day to day problems of their work. I sat with Leila on my knee and listened to them all discuss their lives and gave my opinion when asked. I watched as my second son tenderly changed his little niece, talking to her as he did so, felt a little sad that as a gay man he is unlikely to experience fatherhood himself, but celebrated the fact that he plays such a big part in his sister's family. When I got up to leave, everyone came to hug and kiss me goodbye and I felt so wanted and loved.
Now why am I telling you this? Because it wasn't always like this. When my first marriage broke up my daughter stayed with her father a lot of the time as she felt sorry for him and didn't understand why I left. My eldest son became angry, left school at a crucial time and my younger son fought to get his qualifications while his mind was all over the place. They were hard and difficult times and I cried an ocean for the break up of the family life I cherished.
23 years later I have just described life as it is now. My birth children and my step sons are one big family. They fight from time to time as all families do. There are good times and bad times, but we never leave hold of each other. We got here through a lot of love, a lot of tears, a lot of patience and a stubborness on my part to be the family I knew we could be. Bryan has been the most wonderful influence on this family and last night they sat discussing what they would buy him for his special birthday on November 5th. They wanted to show him how important he is.
So, for all you out there still hurting from a broken relationship I want to give you hope and ask you to keep on loving those kids more than ever and one day, sooner than you think, you'll be sitting with your grandchildren, round a table and you'll remember the words of that lady, probably long gone, who was Overthehillandfaraway.
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