Thoughts.com Blogs - The boss's son, the girl from accounts and me

I had decided to take a walk during my lunch break that day. We were experiencing an unusual heat wave and going to work was painful for me. I looked longingly at my dog that morning as I left him in the garden lying flat on his back, too lethargic in the early morning heat to walk me to the gate. My mother handed me my lunch packed neatly in greaseproof paper and with a fat, Granny Smith apple on top. She kissed me goodbye and assured me it would still be beautiful when I returned that evening. My father was waiting for me in the car, windows down in an attempt to keep the car as cool as possible. We drove without speaking for a while, my hair blowing in the wind as the breeze licked my face. Then he asked me what I planned to do at the weekend and I smiled a secret smile as I was so sure this weekend was going to be a very special one for me. I assured him I wasn't doing much but would probably go with the girls to Caproni's for the usual Saturday night hop. He gave me his usual lecture about making sure I had a lift home and if not he would come for me after he left the golf club. I hated that bit about my dad, the way he wouldn't let me come home with all the others, the way he waited outside for me and I had to get my coat and leave sharp at eleven. But not so this weekend, I thought and smiled inwardly again.

In the office I hadn't time to think at all as I was told to go straight to Major White's office. He was waiting for me, sitting behind his desk, arms folded, his spectacles sitting at the end of his nose as he gazed over them. We greeted each other and I sat down waiting for him to dictate a letter. The phone rang in the middle of dictation and I sat politely waiting for him to take the call. The window behind his desk looked out over the yard and my heart missed a beat when I saw David walk over towards the driver's yard. He was wearing a white shirt and blue tie, dark blue trousers, no jacket, and he had rolled up the sleeves exposing his tanned arms. His hair was even more blonde in the sun and I thought he looked like the most handsome guy I ever knew. His father was my other boss, Jack Harrison, who adored his son. I wondered what it would be like to be with him, just the two of us, in his red sports car and sighed. I was quickly brought back to the present when Major White cleared his throat and began to dictate once more. I typed up the letters, sorted through the mail, took some papers upstairs to accounts and then it was lunch time.

I didn't ask any of the other girls to go with me that lunch time. I just wanted to be on my own and dream a while about tomorrow night. David had indicated to me that he would like to take me home on Saturday after the hop and he had looked at me in a way I had never seen him look before. Maggie, my best friend, said he definitely had the 'hots' for me and she told me to go for it and not worry about my father's wrath if I was home a little late. I didn't know about that bit but I did know I wanted to go out with him, more than anything. I crossed the road from the office and walked through the gate leading to the park. There was a river ran through it and I followed it until I came to a spot with a big tree offering plenty of shade from its outspread branches. I opened my bag and took out my sandwhich, lying back on the trunk of the tree with my legs drawn up and my bare feet, curling my toes on the grass. When I had finished my sandwich I bit into the apple and closed my eyes. I was a dreamer which had got me into a lot of trouble at school but it was just the way I was. I wondered what it would be like if David kissed me and I enjoyed the experience of imagining how it would be. I thought about the radio in his car playing Cliff Richard or Adam Faith or even Elvis while we sat looking into each other's eyes. I knew just what I was going to wear. Red top, black and white mini skirt, black stockings and black ballerina shoes. I sighed, realising I would have to get back to work and chat to the girls before the afternoon began. I packed away the paper into my bag, put on my sandals and stood up. I could hear voices in the distance and I turned my face towards their direction, thinking it might have been some of the girls from work. I stood with my hands on the tree trunk and looked round to the other side of the river. My heart lept. There was David, hand in hand with Joanne, the girl from accounts. She was giggling, that silly, irritating giggle she had. He pulled her towards him and pushed her into the tree on the bank of the river facing me. I jumped back, terrified they would see me. My heart thumped as I watched him kiss her, his head bent over her face. I wanted to run but was terrified he would see me. I heard that giggle again and they walked away further down the river's edge and out of sight. I turned and ran, tears stinging my eyes. I didn't stop running until I saw the office building ahead of me. I stopped momentarily to dry my eyes before walking on.

It was hard getting through that afternoon. I just wanted the comfort of my bedroom, I wanted to hug my dog and smell his familiar, warm smell. I was greatful when Major White asked me to make him some coffee and locked myself in the kitchen to make it. I was setting out the tray when the door opened and there stood David in front of me. 'How is the most gorgeous girl in Ireland today?' he asked and I felt sick when I looked at him. I was, however, determined not to let him see it. 'Grand altogether,' I replied, hoping I was looking and sounding normal. 'What about tomorrow night then, would you like me to pick you up?' I was shocked, I couldn't believe he was asking me on a proper date when only a couple of hours ago he was kissing someone else. 'Sorry,' I replied,' I'm going to a party with a friend tomorrow. Maybe some other time,' I said, avoiding his big, blue eyes and I placed the coffee cup on the tray and made to open the door. He looked offended, shocked, but he opened the door politely for me. 'Are you sure?' he asked again. 'Perfectly sure,' I replied, even managing a smile. Once again I was totally convinced I should have gone for acting school.

I didn't go out at all that weekend and surprised my mother by helping her to bake and we watched television together that night. She asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell her but I assured her there wasn't. I just couldn't share the hurt I felt inside. My father really embarassed me on Sunday by telling me how he had been hurt when he was just 18 by a girl who he discovered after just wasn't worth it. I don't know how he knew but somehow or other he was trying to comfort me without me having to say a word.

All that week I avoided him at work, only saying Hi when I passed him. I saw him again the following Saturday at the hop. He asked me to dance and I refused, saying I had arranged to meet my friend upstairs for a Coke. He stood on the balcony and stared down when I was dancing. At work he followed me, waiting for me to talk to him but I never did, other than when I had to through work circumstances. Through time he started dating other girls and Joanne from accounts got engaged to her long time boyfriend. I congratulated her through clenched teeth. I left work that September and returned to college.

Years later, many years later, I was walking along the road in a town near to where I lived. Someone called my name and I turned round to look but didn't recognise the man calling me. He was a typical businessman, pin striped suit, shirt straining over his ample but long gone waist line. His face looked red, as though he drank a lot and his hair was still blonde but there was none on top. I recognised him after a few seconds because of his blue eyes. He said he read about me all the time and often wanted to come and see me but how glad he was to see me now. We talked a while and he told me he was in a relationship with two failed marriages behind him. 'You know, I often thought my life could have been very different if you had gone out with me,' he told me and I had to admit to feeling really surprised. He told me he had never understood why I hadn't. 'Ah, sure you know how it is,' I told him, 'girls of that age were very fickle. I probably fancied someone else at the time.' I almost regretted saying it as his face looked quite sad when I told him that. 'But I always thought you were gorgeous,' I added with a sudden surge of good nature and he seemed pleased at that. He told me I still was and I smiled warmly at him when we said goodbye. Six months later I heard he had died, a sudden heart attack with no warning. He had left two grown up children and a young grandson. I felt so sad when I thought back to what he had been. Young, tall, blonde, handsome, wealthy and spoilt. The only son of rich parents who had over indulged him. Ah, but sure what is the point of feeling sentimental. Didn't he kiss that Joanne from accounts who is now on her third husband and me, totally mad about him. God rest his soul.