Forgive me now if any of this sounds disrespectul for it was never my intention.  Honestly.  My son's fiancee's grandfather died and his funeral was this morning.  My son was abroad and therefore unable to attend.  My husband, daughter and myself agreed to go to represent him.  I should explain now, before I go any further, that the relationship between my son and his prospective in-laws has not always been the friendliest.  They are just worlds apart.  They have difficulty accepting the fact that we are Protestants from East Belfast and they are Catholics from West Belfast.  Until the peace process, never the two shall meet if you get the picture. Ridiculous in a way as we have more in common with each other than the rest of the world, but there you go.  Anyway, the old man was loved by everyone and had a long and fulfilling life, so we wanted to pay our respects. 

On the way over my husband rehearsed the names.  The mother is Patricia and the father is Sean, he repeated to himself.  And the grandfather was????? I asked.  Eamon, he replied, pleased with himself.  The truth is we have never known the father by any other name than Hilter.  Now I should also explain that my son gives everyone a nickname and always has done.  His sister is Misss Piggy, one brother is Mog and another is Jimmy the Greek.  With his uneasy relationship with the father in law, he named him Hitler because of his domineering attitude.  This got changed to Hilter when he once heard someone at the cinema ask what the movie was about and was told it was about some bloke called Hilter.  So Hilter has stuck ever since. 

Fast forward to the church.  We found a pew at the back so as we wouldn't be noticed if we got up at the wrong time.  A lovely old man sat beside me and I whispered to him that he would have to excuse us as we were Church of Ireland and might forget to stand up when we ought to.  He chuckled and assured me we were very welcome.  'Just don't be giving this fella any ideas,' he said, nodding his head towards the priest.  'I hear your fellas can go on for an hour and a half,' he added.  And indeed they can.  The mass was beautiful and the music meaningful and moving.  Eamon had been a devout Church goer all his life and the priest knew him well.  We didn't let ourself down at all as the dear old man beside me gave us the nod when to get up and when to sit down.  We shook hands warmly at the end of it.

Outside the sun shone out of the heavens on what was a beautiful, autumnal day.  The family stood in a line as the mourners waited to shake hands and pay their respects.  'Remember,' I whispered to my husband, 'Patricia and Sean.'  He gave me that look that said I was treating him like a total eejit.  We had now reached the immediate family and we introduced ourselves.  'Sorry for your trouble,' we said, moving from one to the other.  My husband was ahead of me followed by my daughter.  I saw Bryan reach out his hand to shake the mother's hand.  'Patricia,' he said, 'Sorry for your trouble,' and kissed her on the cheek.  'Sean,' he said, 'sorry for meeting you under the circumstances.'  He did well and so did my lovely daughter.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  'Patricia,' I said holding out my hand, 'I'm so sorry for your loss but he was well loved and you gave him a wonderful funeral.'  'Thank you so much for coming,' she answered tearfully and I moved on towards Sean.  'Hilter,' I said, 'Sorry for your.........I saw my husband look at me in horror and my daughter stopped in her tracks.  'I mean Sean,' I stammered feeling myself go scarlet in the face.  I stared in horror.  There was a small silence and then he threw back his head and laughed.  'Is that young buck still calling me that?' he laughed, 'I'll have a word with him when he gets back.  Have you met Patricia's Aunty Lilly?' he asked and I moved on.  Aunty Lilly was in her 80's and dressed smart as a button.  'Pleased to meet you,' she said, and then, with a twinkle in her eye she looked towards my husband and said, 'Isn't your man only gorgeous?'

You know, we got on the best after that.  They were so grateful to us for coming and we were so very glad we did.  There were a lot of bridges mended this morning and I'm so grateful to Eamon for his part in it.  I never knew him but I heard a lot about how he had brought his family up by himself after his wife died.  And you know something?  Hilter was grand altogether.