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I have discovered, though not to any big surprise, that "clicks" are still in fashion even though one is out of school. Now that my oldest is in elementary school I am around more moms than ever. At school events, dance class and parties. At my daughters weekly dance class the same moms every week stand/sit off to the side yapping away about this and that, planning for events they are doing with their children and with each other, whispering and watching over their own children. Yesterday I was sitting in a chair while three women stood around me chatting about the price of dance class so one could write a check. She didn't know the price and was asking around and not to anyone specific. Three or 4 times I said it aloud, being ignored?, overlooked?, I don't know, the fourth time I actually waved my hand to catch their eye (even though I was right there!) and said loudly $40!!! Oh, thank you, she says... Yeah, sure, your welcome I say in my head snidley. Were they ignoring me purposefully or were they truly so engrossed in their own banter they didn't hear me? I'd like to think the later, however I've experienced other put-offs too, by trying to involve myself in their conversations only to be felt like they are put out by my response. Not that I am unkind, just that perhaps they think I have a lot of nerve to try and "speak" to them! I expect this to happen during the next 18 years, as I have another child to put through school too and I'm sure both my girls will experience the "clicks" of childhood too and well into adulthood.
By the way, I feel I am a kind person, not an extrovert, loud or obnoxious, when I have a friend it's a good friend, I tend to sit on the sidelines and listen unless I feel I have something to add, which isn't very often.
Are you one of these moms that tend to overlook the woman sitting/standing next to you? Is it because of your own insecurities or just because she's not in your "click"?
I'm finished now...
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Posted by over40 on 2008-01-29 08:57:30 | Rating: | Views: 49
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I like to think of myself as very extraverted. When I go places for my son I wind up talking to mothers as well. When you talk to the same people for a few times in a row you get used to the idea that they are the only ones who want to talk with you. Then somone new speaks up and you think 'oh, is she talking to me?' not in a bad way, just startled. Then if the person doesn't say anything else conversation continues. If you spoke up more and talked with them they would accept you. Especally if what you say is helpful.
Of course there are those who are so lofty that they ignore anyone with out a 5 carat dimond on their finger, but most moms who would be seen in a waiting room for their kids lessons aren't like that.
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Posted by HomeMommy
on 2008-01-29 16:14:51
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I'm definitely a mom who sits on the sidelines and watches the other moms socialize. I'm shy by nature and I hate rejection so if I don't know someone I won't put myself out there for fear of being ignored or laughed at. Isn't that funny? Maybe its an air we put around ourselves that gives off "leave me alone" vibes. Because when I get up the gumption to get myself included I usually am (sometimes only briefly and other times I make new friends). If we sit off to ourselves that's what others expect, that we want to be by ourselves.
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Posted by FigureCompetingMom
on 2008-01-30 12:36:13
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