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I remember some time ago hearing TD Jakes teach about the Gift of Good-bye. Because of the time that has passed, I don't remember the scriptural basis for the lesson; but, I remember thinking "Man... I need to learn that!"
The main parts of the lesson was knowing when to say good-bye. The fact that God sometimes moves things out of our way, yet we continue to hold onto them. I remember TD Jakes exclaiming that he had perfected his gift of good-bye. He exclaimed that if a person did not seem like they were good for his life, his well-being, his motivation, or that they Wanted to be in his life THEN he had no problems with letting that person that person go! He farther explained that not everyone that entered our lives was a permanent thing. He used the adage that some people enter our lives for a season, or a reason (I think there was a third.... ), or a life-time.
His name was David.
I did not plan to meet him and I can laugh at the way, even now, that we met. I had to go to Sam's one evening after work (my then job). I realized at the door that I had forgotten my card. Since I only needed a couple cases of water, I decided to go to customer service for a temporary card. As I got into line, I noticed this man (David) sitting at a table eating. I nodded a greeting. I then turned away to watch the people. I could feel this man staring at me -- eventually I looked back in his direction. He would not really do anything other than stare. Someone in the line began to speak to me and I exchanged the normal how are you its busy in the store conversation.
It was finally my turn and I told the representative my situation. I was told to get my water and come back to the line. I proceeded to do just that. I got back in the line and that man was still sitting there. He continued to watch me. As I made my way to the front of the line, I put the guy out of my mind as being slightly rude because he would stare but not speak. I checked out and then proceeded to the door to have my ticket marked. As I walked outside, David stepped up to my basket and spoke. I break here because you should be saying a strange man walks up to you in the evening and you don't scream? I did not because because he was in uniform.
I remember saying to him.... so now you want to speak! We both laughed. As time passed and we continued getting to know each other, we often talked about the first encounter and our first impressions of each other.
His name was David.
Time passed and I grew to love David. I think that he too loved me, but previous life decisions and family imposed upon David's time and attention. He had an ex-wife that was not quite so ex.... and later in our relationship he had a desire to pursue another level in his career that also impacted what we could have been. No I was not about to hinder him, but he chose to take some pass issues with him into the present that impeded his present with me and our future.
His name was David.
Things began to seriously decline and I am not a push over. I gave my list of troubles and David made the necessary noises about seeing his mistakes where I was concerned. Things would be better 24 - 48 hours then go back to their norm. Finally I told David that this thing was not good for me. That if I had to only be in his face to be on his mind that perhaps I was not the woman for him. So essentially, I made the decision to end our relationship.
I think I miss him mostly because we were friends first. We could talk about anything and I am sure if you saw my other blogs that I have things going on. I have believed for many years that conversation rules the world and David could provide me with conversation. I am so picky about who I let in. In fact, David was really only my second real attempt at love. In my younger days, I could be harsh. Not harsh in a malicious way, but not a person to take any excuses. My philosophy was my way or the the highway then one day I got smacked (another story entirely).
His name was David.
David has been gone now for most of August. He said that he would not let me go that easily and I had hopes that he would realize what we had growing. I understand his fear. Many times when we would spend time together he would jump in with "Wow!... will it always be this good?" He enjoyed the peace that is around me, in my home. He enjoyed the feeling of being able to be a man without having to be insulted or demeaned. He enjoyed being able to come to my home and enjoy a meal and no drama. His previous marriage was about war, drama, and verbal fights.
His name was David.
I could not change his previous experiences and he was afraid to change himself. You know the saying if you do the same things you did you get the same things you had. I realized in my late teens that some people who have had negative most of the time are not prepared for positive. And because I have had positive most of the time, negative works my last nerve. I can't stand excuses ..... Decide what you want and then go get it -- make a decision. Unfortunately love does not always work out like we plan. I knew what I wanted and was willing to do the work to get it, but my David was just not sure. My David had had too many negative experiences to allow him to enjoy the positive.
His name was David.
I am perfecting my gift of good-bye. Oludamare God would not have me unhappy in my professional life or my personal life. Perhaps David was a lesson. Perhaps I was supposed to learn how to love and be strong to let it go when the time came. Perhaps I was supposed to learn that the love in me was not dead (I thought so). Perhaps I was supposed to learn that we each have something to go through and how we emerge adds or takes away from our character. Perhaps my David was just sent as a season. Perhaps I was supposed to learn ..... how to apply my gift of good-bye.
His name was David.
Good-bye.
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Posted by osunkoya on 2007-08-23 01:48:51 | Rating: | Views: 105
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Things will be better. Don't worry. The thing is that you were graced by love. That is the best thing. You can learn from every relationship. Think positive, and you will again meet someone.
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Posted by sushi910
on 2007-08-24 17:05:47
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